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If someone loves you and they leave and don't come back, it was never meant to be. If someone loves you and they leave and come back, set them on fire.

George Carlin

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George Carlin
Age: 71 †
Born: 1937
Born: May 12
Died: 2008
Died: June 22
Actor
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Producer
Humorist
Journalist
Manufacturer
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
New York City
New York
George Denis Patrick Carlin
Back
Come
Never
Loves
Meant
Leave
Fire
Someone

More quotes by George Carlin

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It's difficult enough for a young person to put his soul on the line in front of a lot of drunken people without having that hanging over his head, too.
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A crazy person doesn't really lose his mind. It just becomes something more entertaining.
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It's a keep your fingers crossed business, the entertainment business.
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I finally accepted Jesus. not as my personal savior, but as a man I intend to borrow money from.
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If it's true that our species is alone in the universe, then I'd have to say the universe aimed rather low and settled for very little.
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There's an idea that the human body is somehow evil and bad and there are parts of it that are especially evil and bad, and we should be ashamed. Fear, guilt and shame are built into the attitude toward sex and the body. It's reflected in these prohibitions and these taboos that we have.
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If 4 out of 5 people SUFFER from diarrhea…does that mean that 1 enjoys it?
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All messages from Satan are played forward and are in standard American English.
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No matter how you care to define it, I do not identify with the local group. Planet, species, race, nation, state, religion, party, union, club, association, neighborhood improvement committee I have no interest in any of it. I love and treasure individuals as I meet them, I loathe and despise the groups they identify with and belong to.
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By elimination, dishonesty is the second-best policy.
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The straightest line between a straight distance is two points.
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When he got loaded, the human cannonball knew there were not many men of his caliber.
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Praying is begging for an unseen deity to alter the laws of nature for someone admittedly unworthy.
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I think we’re part of a greater wisdom that we will ever understand a higher order, call it what you want. Know what I call it? The Big Electron. It doesn’t punish, it doesn’t reward, it doesn’t judge at all. It just is.
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Thall shall keep thy religion to thy selves.
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A lot of times when they catch a guy who killed twenty-seven people, they say, He was a loner. Well, of course he was a loner he killed everyone he came in contact with.
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There are battered husbands. Apparently this happens when the woman is real big, the man is very small, and they each drink a quart of whiskey a day.
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We created god in our own image and likeness!
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The wisest man I ever knew taught me something I never forgot. And although I never forgot it, I never quite memorized it either. So what I’m left with is the memory of having learned something very wise that I can’t quite remember.
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If one synchronized swimmer drowns, do the rest drown too?
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