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Writing books isn't a drastic departure from writing for the stage.
George Carlin
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George Carlin
Age: 71 †
Born: 1937
Born: May 12
Died: 2008
Died: June 22
Actor
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Producer
Humorist
Journalist
Manufacturer
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
New York City
New York
George Denis Patrick Carlin
Writing
Drastic
Departure
Stage
Books
Book
More quotes by George Carlin
No one is more himself than the moment when he's laughing at a joke. It's at those moments that people's defenses go down, and that's when you can slip in a good idea.
George Carlin
The phrase surgical strike might be more acceptable if it were common practice to perform surgery with high explosives.
George Carlin
Some people have no idea what they're doing, and a lot of them are really good at it.
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A house is just a place to keep your stuff while you go out and get more stuff.
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I often warn people: Somewhere along the way, someone is going to tell you, 'There is no I in team.' What you should tell them is, 'Maybe not. But there is an I in independence, individuality and integrity.
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There's a thrill when you steal something in plain view of other people. When you drop a newspaper over a sign and walk away with it, or take something off a wall and the sound of the glue ripping makes people turn around. Your heart is racing, it's a rush.
George Carlin
I was a stonehead for 30 years. I'd wake up in the morning and if I couldn't decide whether I wanted a joint or not, I'd smoke a joint to figure it out. And I stayed high all day long.
George Carlin
Everyone should try to scratch their name on the bomb of life.
George Carlin
We have multiplied our possessions, but reduced our values.
George Carlin
The secret of success is doing something you love, doing it well and being recognized for it
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If you've got a cat and a leg, you've got a happy cat. If you've got a cat and two legs, you've got a party.
George Carlin
I don't consider myself a cynic. I think of myself as a skeptic and a realist. But I understand the word cynic has more than one meaning, and I see how I could be seen as cynical. George, you're cynical. Well, you know, they say if you scratch a cynic you find a disappointed idealist. And perhaps the flame still flickers a little, you know
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Give now. Somewhere, someone feels crappy. You can help.
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One good reason to only maintain a small circle of friends is that three out of four murders are committed by people who know the victim.
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I'm always relieved when someone is delivering a eulogy and I realize I'm listening to it.
George Carlin
Never let the brain idle. ‘An idle mind is the devil’s workshop.’ And the devil’s name is Alzheimer’s.
George Carlin
I like Florida. Everything is in the 80s. The temperatures, the ages and the IQ's.
George Carlin
Every day I break my own personal record for number of days I have been alive.
George Carlin
How old are you? 'I'm four and a half!' You're never thirty-six and a half. You're four and a half, going on five! That's the key.
George Carlin
Cancer research is a growth industry.
George Carlin