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Writing books isn't a drastic departure from writing for the stage.
George Carlin
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George Carlin
Age: 71 †
Born: 1937
Born: May 12
Died: 2008
Died: June 22
Actor
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Producer
Humorist
Journalist
Manufacturer
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
New York City
New York
George Denis Patrick Carlin
Writing
Drastic
Departure
Stage
Books
Book
More quotes by George Carlin
People who see life as anything more than pure entertainment are missing the point.
George Carlin
I just try to find targets I feel something about and express it my way.
George Carlin
Pacifism is a nice idea but it can get you killed. We're not there yet. Evolution is slow, small pox is fast.
George Carlin
A dog has no shame. If he can do it, you can watch.
George Carlin
If you love someone set them free. If they come back, set them on fire.
George Carlin
I think we’re part of a greater wisdom that we will ever understand a higher order, call it what you want. Know what I call it? The Big Electron. It doesn’t punish, it doesn’t reward, it doesn’t judge at all. It just is.
George Carlin
You take 5 white guys and you take 5 black guys and put em together for a week and what you won't have is 5 blacks guys talking like, 'Golly gee, we really won that big basketball game' but you will have 5 white guys talking like 'Yo slick, whuzzup...we be shootin hoops and mad playin, slammed those mofos
George Carlin
Inside every cynical person, there is a disappointed idealist.
George Carlin
Isn’t it a bit unnerving that doctors call what they do “practice”?
George Carlin
Why don't sheep shrink when it rains?
George Carlin
The secretiveness. The stealth. Those were obviously the aspects of cocaine use I was addicted to.
George Carlin
Tits always look better in a pink sweater.
George Carlin
When you think about it, 12:15 P.M. is actually 11:75 A.M.
George Carlin
The whole problem with the world today: private property. If no one owned anything, it would be a lot better. There's even an entire industry devoted to keeping an eye on other people's stuff. This is how stupid it's got. If you decide to get rid of a lot of your stuff, you can give it to a thrift shop or to Goodwill.
George Carlin
Cancer research is a growth industry.
George Carlin
When he got loaded, the human cannonball knew there were not many men of his caliber.
George Carlin
I finally accepted Jesus. not as my personal savior, but as a man I intend to borrow money from.
George Carlin
At best, God can be viewed as nothing more than an uncaring incompetent father-figure
George Carlin
I kind of like it when a lot of people die, and on the other hand I always wonder how many unused frequent-flier miles they had.
George Carlin
Life is a zero sum game.
George Carlin
