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Children are not our future, and I can prove it with my usual, flawless logic. Children can't be our future, because by the time the future arrives, they won't be children anymore, so blow me!
George Carlin
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George Carlin
Age: 71 †
Born: 1937
Born: May 12
Died: 2008
Died: June 22
Actor
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Producer
Humorist
Journalist
Manufacturer
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
New York City
New York
George Denis Patrick Carlin
Time
Arrives
Usual
Logic
Blow
Anymore
Prove
Future
Children
Flawless
More quotes by George Carlin
If you live long enough, sooner or later everybody you know has cancer.
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Trying to be happy by accumulating possessions is like trying to satisfy hunger by taping sandwiches all over your body
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I'll tell you a little secret about the Blues: it's not enough to know which notes to play, you have to know why they need to be played.
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I think TV remotes should have a button that allows you to kill the person on the screen.
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Does killing time damage eternity?
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I'd say pot has been a break-even proposition for me.
George Carlin
What year did Jesus think it was?
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Why do they bother saying raw sewage? Do some people actually cook that stuff?
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Broadway isn't a very big career move. There's no money in it and it doesn't mean anything to your career. It's just a nice little jewel in the crown.
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There are two types of people: One strives to control his environment, the other strives not to let his environment control him. I like to control my environment.
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If you ask me, we could do with a little less motivation. - The people who are causing all the trouble seem highly motivated to me. - Serial killers, stock swindlers, drug dealers, Christian Republicans.
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To my surprise, my marijuana use has been tapering off steadily.
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If a word is misspelled in the dictionary, how would we ever know? If Webster wrote the first dictionary, where did he find the words? Why is 'phonics' not spelled the way it sounds? How come abbreviated is such a long word?
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I don't own a camera, so I travel with a police sketch artist.
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I don't have to tell you it goes without saying there are some things better left unsaid. I think that speaks for itself. The less said about it the better.
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I'm not collegial, I don't hang out. I'm soloist, I like my solitude, I don't really hang around with comedians.
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I simply decided that dope wasn't worth the ritual.
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Every time you use the phrase all my life it has a different meaning.
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We spend the early years feeding our brains with information and the latter half trying not to think about it all.
George Carlin
No matter how you care to define it, I do not identify with the local group. Planet, species, race, nation, state, religion, party, union, club, association, neighborhood improvement committee I have no interest in any of it. I love and treasure individuals as I meet them, I loathe and despise the groups they identify with and belong to.
George Carlin
