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I believe you can joke about anything.
George Carlin
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George Carlin
Age: 71 †
Born: 1937
Born: May 12
Died: 2008
Died: June 22
Actor
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Producer
Humorist
Journalist
Manufacturer
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
New York City
New York
George Denis Patrick Carlin
Joke
Jokes
Anything
Believe
More quotes by George Carlin
There was a built-in audience for the rebel in me that had been all along not expressing himself.
George Carlin
Catholic school gave me the tools to reject the very religion they wanted me to have. They taught me how to think for myself and to be independent.
George Carlin
Why do overlook and oversee mean opposite things?
George Carlin
There will be a rain dance Friday night, weather permitting!
George Carlin
There are three kinds of people: those who can count, and those who cannot.
George Carlin
Don Ho can sign autographs 3.4 times faster than Efrem Zimbalist Jr.
George Carlin
In the 'bullshit department' a businessman can't hold a candle to a clergyman.
George Carlin
On the other hand, pot opens windows and doors that you may not be able to get through any other way.
George Carlin
I'm completely in favor of the separation of Church and State. My idea is that these two institutions screw us up enough on their own, so both of them together is certain death.
George Carlin
Every day I break my own personal record for number of days I have been alive.
George Carlin
The next time they give you all that civic bullshit about voting, keep in mind that Hitler was elected in a full, free democratic election
George Carlin
Running isn't a sport because anyone can do it. Anything we can all do can't be a sport. I can run, you can run. My mother can run, you don't see her on the cover of Sports Illustrated do you?
George Carlin
One thing leads to another? Not always. Sometimes one thing leads to the same thing. Ask an addict.
George Carlin
If someone loves you and they leave and don't come back, it was never meant to be. If someone loves you and they leave and come back, set them on fire.
George Carlin
I have lots of ideas. Trouble is, most of them suck.
George Carlin
I've been a performer for a long time and I know when people are laughing from their guts, from the inside, and when their tuxedos are laughing.
George Carlin
I always knew I could hold people's attention and make them laugh every 30 or 40 seconds, and I got approval and attention for that, so the behavior was reinforced. Later, that became an important skill on the street corner.
George Carlin
Whereas your blackness, ethnicity, homosexuality is something that might be genetic, I can't touch that, and I have no right.
George Carlin
With the proper training, I could've been an evil genius.
George Carlin
I think we’re part of a greater wisdom that we will ever understand a higher order, call it what you want. Know what I call it? The Big Electron. It doesn’t punish, it doesn’t reward, it doesn’t judge at all. It just is.
George Carlin
