Quote

Running isn't a sport because anyone can do it. Anything we can all do can't be a sport. I can run, you can run. My mother can run, you don't see her on the cover of Sports Illustrated do you?

George Carlin

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George Carlin
Age: 71 †
Born: 1937
Born: May 12
Died: 2008
Died: June 22
Actor
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Producer
Humorist
Journalist
Manufacturer
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
New York City
New York
George Denis Patrick Carlin
Illustrated
Cover
Sport
Sports
Anyone
Running
Mother
Anything

More quotes by George Carlin

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Baby boomers helped me a great deal in my career. They launched me. They were there for me to sing my song to. And I'm not saying I'm better than anyone, but I think they turned that anti-authority baby boom mentality into their own enemy. Now I identify very closely with their children.
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They [the Reagan Administration] want to put street criminals in jail to make life safer for the business criminals. They're against street crime, providing that street isn't Wall Street.
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When I ask how old your toddler is, I don't need to hear '27 months.' 'He's two' will do just fine. He's not a cheese. And I didn't really care in the first place.
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Whereas your blackness, ethnicity, homosexuality is something that might be genetic, I can't touch that, and I have no right.
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I believe myself to be a worthwhile and inventive performer in my own right. [And] I want to be known for what I do best.
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Property is theft. Nobody owns anything. When you die, it all stays here.
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Nothing rectifies out-of-control market failures like a healthy dose of government intervention and mountains of bureaucracy.
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I did a lot of thinking, and used mental activity to relieve whatever feelings I had. I became very left-brained, and I was good in school. That is, I was a smart kid.
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Avoid people with gold teeth who want to play cards
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Life is a series of dogs.
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Rhetoric paints with a broad brush.
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The straightest line between a straight distance is two points.
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When he got loaded, the human cannonball knew there were not many men of his caliber.
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Catholics are against abortions. Catholics are against homosexuals. But, I can't think of anyone who has less abortions than homosexuals!
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Being a Dodgers fan led to my first Air Force court-martial, but that's another story.
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If work is so terrific, how come they have to pay you to do it?
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Trying to be happy by accumulating possessions is like trying to satisfy hunger by taping sandwiches all over your body
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I think of myself as an entertainer: I'm a performing entertainer, I'm a stand-up comic. But there's an artist at work here, too. One who interprets his world through his own filter.
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Would a fly without wings be called a walk?
George Carlin
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Hitler never bothered with restaurant reservations he just dropped by. And somehow they always found him a table.
George Carlin