Quote

Running isn't a sport because anyone can do it. Anything we can all do can't be a sport. I can run, you can run. My mother can run, you don't see her on the cover of Sports Illustrated do you?

George Carlin

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George Carlin
Age: 71 †
Born: 1937
Born: May 12
Died: 2008
Died: June 22
Actor
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Producer
Humorist
Journalist
Manufacturer
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
New York City
New York
George Denis Patrick Carlin
Running
Mother
Anything
Illustrated
Cover
Sport
Sports
Anyone

More quotes by George Carlin

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Baseball is a nineteenth-century pastoral game. Football is a twentieth-century technological struggle.
George Carlin
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I used to be Irish Catholic. Now I'm an American - you know, you grow.
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Besides the drugs and counterculture, I started talking about myself, which is the first thing you do when you are a writer.
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Everyone should try to scratch their name on the bomb of life.
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I say things that can be defined as prayers. But I don't pray to a power or ask an entity to intercede in the earthly scheme, because I don't believe that happens. But if I see a really unfortunate person in the street, I do pray, yes, though I suppose it's really more like a mantra to ease my own sorrow.
George Carlin
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The Class Clown album was done totally sober. I'd realized what a hell I'd made for myself and I cleaned up completely for three months. You can hear the clarity of my thinking and of my speech on that album.
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It's legal for men to be floorwalkers and illegal for women to be streetwalkers.
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So I do have this ambivalence. Obviously I'm against militaries, because of what militaries do. In many ways though, the air force was unmilitary-like. They dropped bombs on people, but...they had a golf course.
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Avoid people with gold teeth who want to play cards
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I'm completely in favor of the separation of Church and State. My idea is that these two institutions screw us up enough on their own, so both of them together is certain death.
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I hope I'm beginning a new cycle of energy and creativity. If so, it'll really be my third career. The first was as a straight comic in the Sixties. The second was as a counterculture performer in the Seventies. The third will be...well, that's for others to judge.
George Carlin
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Sex always has consequences. When Hitler's mother spread her legs that night, she effectively canceled out the spreading of fifteen to twenty million other pairs of legs.
George Carlin
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Inside every cynical person, there is a disappointed idealist.
George Carlin
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Most of the time people feel okay. Probably it's because at the moment they're not actually dying.
George Carlin
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Beethoven was so hard of hearing, he thought he was a painter.
George Carlin
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And now gay people want to get married... Haven't they suffered enough?
George Carlin
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I've never owned a telescope, but it's something I'm thinking of looking into.
George Carlin
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For an entertainer, part of the thing you do is just style. And the coke did help me get into great runs of pure form.
George Carlin
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To my surprise, my marijuana use has been tapering off steadily.
George Carlin
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The things that matter in this country have been reduced in choice, there are two political parties, there are a handful insurance companies, there are six or seven information centers.. but if you want a bagel there are 23 flavors. Because you have the illusion of choice!
George Carlin