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Running isn't a sport because anyone can do it. Anything we can all do can't be a sport. I can run, you can run. My mother can run, you don't see her on the cover of Sports Illustrated do you?
George Carlin
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George Carlin
Age: 71 †
Born: 1937
Born: May 12
Died: 2008
Died: June 22
Actor
Comedian
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Film Actor
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Stand-Up Comedian
New York City
New York
George Denis Patrick Carlin
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Running
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More quotes by George Carlin
One time. In 1965. August, for about an hour, I was both fine AND dandy at the same time. But nobody asked me how I was.
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That's the whole meaning of life, isn't it? Trying to find a place for your stuff.
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You never see a smiling runner.
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Does killing time damage eternity?
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Everyone smiles in the same language.
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I think of myself as an entertainer: I'm a performing entertainer, I'm a stand-up comic. But there's an artist at work here, too. One who interprets his world through his own filter.
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In terms of coke, the only money I ever thought about was that dollar bill I had stuck up my nose.
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The older you get, the better you realize you were.
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When you visualize the recent past, do you see it as being somewhere over on the left?
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That invisible hand of Adam Smith seems to offer an extended middle finger to an awful lot of people.
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We kind of shape our truths as we speak them. We fashion things to suit the occasion or the person or our own needs in the moment.
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People get all upset about torture, but when you get right down to it, it's really a pretty good way of finding out something a person doesn't want you to know.
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When it comes to bullshit...bigtime, major league bullshit...you have to stand in awe of the all-time champion of false promises and exaggerated claims...religion.
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A pear is a failed apple.
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Why don't they have waiters in waiting rooms?
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One of the more pretentious political self-descriptions is 'Libertarian.' People think it puts them above the fray. It sounds fashionable, and to the uninitiated, faintly dangerous. Actually, it's just one more bullshit political philosophy.
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Leftovers make you feel good twice. First, when you put it away, you feel thrifty and intelligent: 'I'm saving food!' Then a month later when blue hair is growing out of the ham, and you throw it away, you feel really intelligent: 'I'm saving my life!'
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Dogs lead a nice life. You never see a dog with a wristwatch.
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The sicker you get, the harder it is to remember if you took your medicine.
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Some people see things that are and ask, Why? Some people dream of things that never were and ask, Why not? Some people have to go to work and don't have time for all that.
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