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Running isn't a sport because anyone can do it. Anything we can all do can't be a sport. I can run, you can run. My mother can run, you don't see her on the cover of Sports Illustrated do you?
George Carlin
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George Carlin
Age: 71 †
Born: 1937
Born: May 12
Died: 2008
Died: June 22
Actor
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Producer
Humorist
Journalist
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Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
New York City
New York
George Denis Patrick Carlin
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Running
Mother
Anything
Illustrated
More quotes by George Carlin
Once the high priests and the traders took over, we were lost as a species.
George Carlin
If the shoe fits, buy another one just like it.
George Carlin
No comment is a comment.
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The base of evil in the world is religion of any kind
George Carlin
If you've got a cat and a leg, you've got a happy cat. If you've got a cat and two legs, you've got a party.
George Carlin
Anyone who's onstage is going to attract a certain number of misguided people. But I was never very interested in groupies. Instead of thinking about the sex, I'd always think about the clap and the crabs those people have.
George Carlin
There was about a two-year period at the end of the '60s, when I realized I was in the wrong place and entertaining the wrong people with the wrong material and that I was not being true to myself. I went through a metamorphosis into something more authentic for me, a more authentic stage voice and writing voice.
George Carlin
Think of how stupid the average person is, and realize half of them are stupider than that.
George Carlin
One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor.
George Carlin
Somewhere in the world is a doctor who is worse than all other doctors...and someone has an appointment with him in the morning.
George Carlin
Being a Dodgers fan led to my first Air Force court-martial, but that's another story.
George Carlin
I don't have to tell you it goes without saying there are some things better left unsaid. I think that speaks for itself. The less said about it the better.
George Carlin
But then you turn 30. Oooohh, what happened there? Makes you sound like bad milk! He TURNED we had to throw him out. There's no fun now, you're Just a sour-dumpling. What's wrong? What's changed?
George Carlin
I have this real moron thing I do? It's called thinking.
George Carlin
Why do they bother saying raw sewage? Do some people actually cook that stuff?
George Carlin
Suppose I could shoot myself in the mouth, but what if I miss? People will laugh at me.
George Carlin
Atheism is a non-prophet organization.
George Carlin
Besides the drugs and counterculture, I started talking about myself, which is the first thing you do when you are a writer.
George Carlin
The enjoyment has been diminishing. Now, there's no question that it's sort of fun to get high.
George Carlin
Never get on an airplane if the pilot is wearing a hat that has more than three pastel colors.
George Carlin
