Quote

Sometimes a fireman will go to great strenuous lengths to save a raccoon that's stuck in a drainpipe and then go out on the weekend and kill several of them for amusement.

George Carlin

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George Carlin
Age: 71 †
Born: 1937
Born: May 12
Died: 2008
Died: June 22
Actor
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Producer
Humorist
Journalist
Manufacturer
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
New York City
New York
George Denis Patrick Carlin
Great
Amusement
Weekend
Length
Several
Raccoon
Stuck
Raccoons
Save
Strenuous
Kill
Lengths
Sometimes
Fireman

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Running isn't a sport because anyone can do it. Anything we can all do can't be a sport. I can run, you can run. My mother can run, you don't see her on the cover of Sports Illustrated do you?
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Ah, to be a bird. To fly the skies, sing my song, and best of all occasionally peck someone's eyes out.
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The good lord tripped me up behind the line of scrimmage.
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It is impossible for an abortion clinic to have a waiting list of more than nine months.
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One of the effects it [cocaine] had on my personality - my moods, my behaviors - was that it inhibited me a lot. It kind of took possibilities out of my world, and made the focus of things very narrow.
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If you love someone set them free. If they come back, set them on fire.
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Before they invented drawing boards, what did they go back to?
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Do you think Sammy Davis ate Junior Mints?
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Not only do I not know what's going on, I wouldn't know what to do about it if I did.
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There's a thrill when you steal something in plain view of other people. When you drop a newspaper over a sign and walk away with it, or take something off a wall and the sound of the glue ripping makes people turn around. Your heart is racing, it's a rush.
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Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac?
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I love and treasure individuals as I meet them, I loath and despise the groups they identify or belong to.
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Besides the drugs and counterculture, I started talking about myself, which is the first thing you do when you are a writer.
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Tell the people you love that you love them, at every opportunity.
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Broadway isn't a very big career move. There's no money in it and it doesn't mean anything to your career. It's just a nice little jewel in the crown.
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The highly motivated people in society are the ones causing all the trouble. It's not the lazy unmotivated folks sitting in front of a TV eating potato chips who bother anyone.
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One philosopher has rightly said that property is theft. But I'd like to use my future ownership of property to give something back.
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I think self-expression is present at all times, and whether or not you're talking about the outside world or your responses to it depends on the moment and the subject.
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Soft rock music isn’t rock, and it ain’t music. It’s just soft.
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