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Sometimes a fireman will go to great strenuous lengths to save a raccoon that's stuck in a drainpipe and then go out on the weekend and kill several of them for amusement.
George Carlin
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George Carlin
Age: 71 †
Born: 1937
Born: May 12
Died: 2008
Died: June 22
Actor
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Producer
Humorist
Journalist
Manufacturer
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
New York City
New York
George Denis Patrick Carlin
Weekend
Length
Several
Raccoon
Stuck
Raccoons
Save
Strenuous
Kill
Lengths
Sometimes
Fireman
Great
Amusement
More quotes by George Carlin
We spend the early years feeding our brains with information and the latter half trying not to think about it all.
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If you have selfish, ignorant citizens, you're gonna get selfish, ignorant leaders.
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Those who dance are considered insane by those who cannot hear the music.
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I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a whole lot more as they get older then it dawned on me . . they’re cramming for their final exam.
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There are ten thousand people in the United States in a persistent vegetative state. Just enough to start a small town. Think of them as veggie-burghers.
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I, myself, have killed six people. All random, all undetected, no way to trace them to me. And, let me tell you, there's nothin' like it. It's a great feeling. Yeah, I know, you're thinking. 'Aw, he's a comedian. He's just sayin' that stuff.' Good. That's exactly what I want you to think.
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Put two things together which have never been put together before, and some schmuck will buy it.
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Life is tough, then you die.
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With the proper training, I could've been an evil genius.
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The whole problem with the world today: private property. If no one owned anything, it would be a lot better. There's even an entire industry devoted to keeping an eye on other people's stuff. This is how stupid it's got. If you decide to get rid of a lot of your stuff, you can give it to a thrift shop or to Goodwill.
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Religion is just mind control.
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There may or may not be atheists in foxholes, but I'm certain there are none in the Ku Klux Klan.
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All music is the blues. All of it.
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Most of the time people feel okay. Probably it's because at the moment they're not actually dying.
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If you've got a cat and a leg, you've got a happy cat. If you've got a cat and two legs, you've got a party.
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If all our national holidays were observed on Wednesdays, we could wind up with nine-day weekends.
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If work is so terrific, how come they have to pay you to do it?
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Once the high priests and the traders took over, we were lost as a species.
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I think it's the duty of the comedian to find out where the line is drawn and cross it deliberately.
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People who own everything know how to relax a little and bend and exhale once in a while, but they're not going to let it get out of control.
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