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Sometimes a fireman will go to great strenuous lengths to save a raccoon that's stuck in a drainpipe and then go out on the weekend and kill several of them for amusement.
George Carlin
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George Carlin
Age: 71 †
Born: 1937
Born: May 12
Died: 2008
Died: June 22
Actor
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Producer
Humorist
Journalist
Manufacturer
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
New York City
New York
George Denis Patrick Carlin
Great
Amusement
Weekend
Length
Several
Raccoon
Stuck
Raccoons
Save
Strenuous
Kill
Lengths
Sometimes
Fireman
More quotes by George Carlin
No one is more himself than the moment when he's laughing at a joke. It's at those moments that people's defenses go down, and that's when you can slip in a good idea.
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If you've got a cat and a leg, you've got a happy cat. If you've got a cat and two legs, you've got a party.
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We think in language. We think in words. Language is the landscape of thought.
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Trying to be happy by accumulating possessions is like trying to satisfy hunger by taping sandwiches all over your body
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I just love it when I hear a little commotion, someone leaving. When I see those doors in the back . . .
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Self-expression is a hallmark of an artist, of art, to get something off one's chest, to sing one's song. So that element is present in all art. It is the key to even standing up and saying, Hey, listen to me. Self-expression can be based on looking at the world and making observations about it.
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What do dogs do on their day off? Can't lie around – that's their job!
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Instead of thinking about the sex, I'd always think about the clap and the crabs those people have.
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Religion is just mind control.
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By elimination, dishonesty is the second-best policy.
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One great thing about getting old is that you can get out of all sorts of social obligations just by saying you're too tired.
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If God is all powerful, can He make a stone so big that He Himself can't lift it?
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Dogs lead a nice life. You never see a dog with a wristwatch.
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If a word is misspelled in the dictionary, how would we ever know? If Webster wrote the first dictionary, where did he find the words? Why is 'phonics' not spelled the way it sounds? How come abbreviated is such a long word?
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I do something about the weather. I stay home.
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Pacifism is a nice idea but it can get you killed. We're not there yet. Evolution is slow, small pox is fast.
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If you nail a tool shed closed, how do you put the hammer away?
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I never worry that all hell will break loose. My concern is that only part of hell will break loose and be much harder to detect.
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It is impossible for an abortion clinic to have a waiting list of more than nine months.
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I think self-expression is present at all times, and whether or not you're talking about the outside world or your responses to it depends on the moment and the subject.
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