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Dogs and cats get put to sleep hogs and cows get slaughtered.

George Carlin

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George Carlin
Age: 71 †
Born: 1937
Born: May 12
Died: 2008
Died: June 22
Actor
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Producer
Humorist
Journalist
Manufacturer
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
New York City
New York
George Denis Patrick Carlin
Slaughtered
Hog
Cows
Cats
Dogs
Cat
Dog
Sleep
Hogs

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Leftovers make you feel good twice. First, when you put it away, you feel thrifty and intelligent: 'I'm saving food!' Then a month later when blue hair is growing out of the ham, and you throw it away, you feel really intelligent: 'I'm saving my life!'
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You're all going to die. I hate to remind you, but it is on your schedule. It probably won't happen when you'd like generally, it's an inconvenience.
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My advice: Just keep movin' straight ahead. Every now and then you find yourself in a different place.
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Avoid people with gold teeth who want to play cards
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The mayfly lives only one day. And sometimes it rains.
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Comedy is a socially acceptable form of hostility and aggression. That is what comics do, stand the world upside down.
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Pacifism is a nice idea but it can get you killed. We're not there yet. Evolution is slow, small pox is fast.
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I'm not collegial, I don't hang out. I'm soloist, I like my solitude, I don't really hang around with comedians.
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In baseball the object is to go home! And to be safe! - I hope I'll be safe at home!
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I like Florida. Everything is in the 80s. The temperatures, the ages and the IQ's.
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If we could just find out who's in charge, we could kill him.
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With the proper training, I could've been an evil genius.
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Oh Beautiful for smoggy skies, insecticided grain, For strip-mined mountain's majesty above the asphalt plain. America, America, man sheds his waste on thee, And hides the pines with billboard signs, from sea to oily sea.
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Hitler never bothered with restaurant reservations he just dropped by. And somehow they always found him a table.
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There are three kinds of people: those who can count, and those who cannot.
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Some people think that words can injure the psyche or the moral fiber. And they really can't.
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How do you write zero in Roman numerals?
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I believe myself to be a worthwhile and inventive performer in my own right. But I'm not in a league with Lenny [Bruce], certainly not in terms of social commentary.
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People have material needs, but you don't need a deodorant for every different day of the week. You don't need four hundred varieties of mustard. This is what I call too many choices. There are too many choices in America.
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Traditional American values: Genocide, aggression, conformity, emotional repression, hypocrisy, and the worship of comfort and consumer goods.
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