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Dogs and cats get put to sleep hogs and cows get slaughtered.
George Carlin
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George Carlin
Age: 71 †
Born: 1937
Born: May 12
Died: 2008
Died: June 22
Actor
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Producer
Humorist
Journalist
Manufacturer
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
New York City
New York
George Denis Patrick Carlin
Cats
Dogs
Cat
Dog
Sleep
Hogs
Slaughtered
Hog
Cows
More quotes by George Carlin
I'd say pot has been a break-even proposition for me.
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People say life begins at conception, I say life began about a billion years ago and it's a continuous process.
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Political discourse has been reduced to Where's the beef? Read my lips, and Make my day. Where are the assassins when we really need them?
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I've never been quarantined. But the more I look around the more I think it might not be a bad idea.
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There may or may not be atheists in foxholes, but I'm certain there are none in the Ku Klux Klan.
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You get into your teens, now they can't hold you back. You jump to the next number, or even a few ahead.
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No one knows what's next, but everybody does it.
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I kind of like it when a lot of people die, and on the other hand I always wonder how many unused frequent-flier miles they had.
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Every time you use the phrase all my life it has a different meaning.
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I did a lot of thinking, and used mental activity to relieve whatever feelings I had. I became very left-brained, and I was good in school. That is, I was a smart kid.
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The older you get, the better you realize you were.
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Weather forecast for tonight: dark.
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The following statement is true. The previous statement is false.
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Inside every cynical person, there is a disappointed idealist.
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For an entertainer, part of the thing you do is just style. And the coke did help me get into great runs of pure form.
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There are ten thousand people in the United States in a persistent vegetative state. Just enough to start a small town. Think of them as veggie-burghers.
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Don't confuse my point of view with cynicism. The real cynics are the ones who tell you that everything's gonna be all right.
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I always wanted and enjoyed sex, but I never put much importance on scoring or having an athletic sex life. I guess I define myself more by my career and my commitment to a relationship than by my ability to have a lot of chicks or achieve ten orgasms in an evening.
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Why don't sheep shrink when it rains?
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Before they give you a lethal injection, they swab your arm with alcohol. It's true. Well, they don't want you to get an infection, and you can see their point. They don't want some guy go to hell and be sick.
George Carlin
