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Irony deals with opposites it has nothing to do with coincidence.

George Carlin

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George Carlin
Age: 71 †
Born: 1937
Born: May 12
Died: 2008
Died: June 22
Actor
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Producer
Humorist
Journalist
Manufacturer
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
New York City
New York
George Denis Patrick Carlin
Nothing
Coincidence
Irony
Opposites
Deals

More quotes by George Carlin

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Why do they bother saying raw sewage? Do some people actually cook that stuff?
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Why don't sheep shrink when it rains?
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Why don't they have waiters in waiting rooms?
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Fussy eater is a euphemism for big pain in the ass.
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I have as much authority as the Pope, I just don't have as many people who believe it.
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I think TV remotes should have a button that allows you to kill the person on the screen.
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Environmentalists changed the word jungle to rain forest, because no one would give them money to save a jungle. Same with swamps and wetlands.
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Some people see things that are and ask, Why? Some people dream of things that never were and ask, Why not? Some people have to go to work and don't have time for all that.
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When you quit school at an early age, I think you have a lifelong need to show the world - and maybe yourself - that you're really smart after all.
George Carlin
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Being a Dodgers fan led to my first Air Force court-martial, but that's another story.
George Carlin
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You know what I like about the American form of government? They've worked things out so that you're never far from a 7-Eleven.
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Just think, right now as you read this, some guy somewhere is gettin' ready to hang himself.
George Carlin
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How can He be perfect? Everything He ever makes...dies.
George Carlin
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If all our national holidays were observed on Wednesdays, we could wind up with nine-day weekends.
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I'm always relieved when someone is delivering a eulogy and I realize I'm listening to it.
George Carlin
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In Rome, the emperor sat in a special part of the Colosseum called the Caesarian Section.
George Carlin
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One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor.
George Carlin
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Bowling is not a sport because you have to rent the shoes. When Will Jesus Bring the Pork Chops? This title offends all three major religions, and even vegetarians!
George Carlin
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People say life begins at conception, I say life began about a billion years ago and it's a continuous process.
George Carlin
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It's a keep your fingers crossed business, the entertainment business.
George Carlin