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People get all upset about torture, but when you get right down to it, it's really a pretty good way of finding out something a person doesn't want you to know.
George Carlin
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George Carlin
Age: 71 †
Born: 1937
Born: May 12
Died: 2008
Died: June 22
Actor
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Producer
Humorist
Journalist
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Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
New York City
New York
George Denis Patrick Carlin
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We get what we deserve. They are our elected officials.
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Every day I beat my own previous record for the number of consecutive days I’ve stayed alive.
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I call him Governor Bush because that's the only political office he's ever held legally in this country. I don't care where they hang his portrait, I don't care how big his library is. To me, he'll always be Governor Bush. I don't even capitalize his name when I type it anymore.
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When I hear a person talking about political solutions, I know I am not listening to a serious person.
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There are actually people who go out and re-fight these battles. You know what I say? Use real ammunition! You just might raise the intelligence level of the American gene pool!
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The word bipartisan usually means some larger-than-usual deception is being carried out.
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Every person you look at, you can see the universe in their eyes, if you're really looking
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My mother and her plans for my future. She had it all worked out. I would attend a nice college, then get a job in advertising. You'll be one of those smart-looking fellows in their Madison Avenue suits. And I rebelled against [my mother] and her values and her plans for my future at every opportunity.
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But then you turn 30. Oooohh, what happened there? Makes you sound like bad milk! He TURNED we had to throw him out. There's no fun now, you're Just a sour-dumpling. What's wrong? What's changed?
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Why do they bother saying raw sewage? Do some people actually cook that stuff?
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Sometimes, when I was really loaded, I'd sit on the floor and sort out every nut and bolt in the house. It was just sheer insanity. And often there'd be speed in the cut, so I was a speed freak, too.
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Surround yourself with what you love.
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I think it keeps the child alive in me. There's a thrill when you steal something in plain view of other people.
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The ritual was very important to me: cleaning the pot, rolling the pot.
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The caterpillar does all the work, but the butterfly gets all the publicity.
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We think in language. The quality of our thoughts and ideas can only be as good as the quality of our language.
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The very existence of flamethrowers proves that sometime, somewhere, someone said to themselves, You know, I want to set those people over there on fire, but I'm just not close enough to get the job done.
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