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People get all upset about torture, but when you get right down to it, it's really a pretty good way of finding out something a person doesn't want you to know.

George Carlin

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George Carlin
Age: 71 †
Born: 1937
Born: May 12
Died: 2008
Died: June 22
Actor
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Producer
Humorist
Journalist
Manufacturer
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
New York City
New York
George Denis Patrick Carlin
Persons
Person
Right
Torture
Something
Upset
Really
Findings
Way
Finding
Good
Pretty
People
Doesn

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I had no shoes, and I felt sorry for myself until I met a man who had no feet. I took his shoes. Now I feel better.
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Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac?
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Can placebos cause side effects? If so, are the side effects real?
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I'll bet there aren't too many people hooked on crack who can play the bagpipes.
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Religion has what is EASILY the greatest bullshit story of all time.
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I don't own a camera, so I travel with a police sketch artist.
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Fussy eater is a euphemism for big pain in the ass.
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I think I am, therefore, I am... I think.
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Everyone should try to scratch their name on the bomb of life.
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In comic strips, the person on the left always speaks first.
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The next time they give you all that civic bullshit about voting, keep in mind that Hitler was elected in a full, free democratic election
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The whole problem with the world today: private property. If no one owned anything, it would be a lot better. There's even an entire industry devoted to keeping an eye on other people's stuff. This is how stupid it's got. If you decide to get rid of a lot of your stuff, you can give it to a thrift shop or to Goodwill.
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The sicker you get, the harder it is to remember if you took your medicine.
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Golf is an arrogant, elitist game that takes up entirely too much space in this country.
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So I do have this ambivalence. Obviously I'm against militaries, because of what militaries do. In many ways though, the air force was unmilitary-like. They dropped bombs on people, but...they had a golf course.
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Here's a phrase that apparently the airlines simply made up: near miss. They say that if 2 planes almost collide, it's a near miss. Bullshit, my friend. It's a near hit! A collision is a near miss. [WHAM! CRUNCH!] Look, they nearly missed! Yes, but not quite.
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Flowers are one of the few things we buy, bring home, watch die, and we don't ask for our money back.
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At best, God can be viewed as nothing more than an uncaring incompetent father-figure
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Ever wonder about those people who spend $2 apiece on those little bottles of Evian water? Try spelling Evian backward.
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