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People get all upset about torture, but when you get right down to it, it's really a pretty good way of finding out something a person doesn't want you to know.
George Carlin
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George Carlin
Age: 71 †
Born: 1937
Born: May 12
Died: 2008
Died: June 22
Actor
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Producer
Humorist
Journalist
Manufacturer
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
New York City
New York
George Denis Patrick Carlin
Right
Torture
Something
Upset
Really
Findings
Way
Finding
Good
Pretty
People
Doesn
Persons
Person
More quotes by George Carlin
Most of the time people feel okay. Probably it's because at the moment they're not actually dying.
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Every time you use the phrase all my life it has a different meaning.
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Avoid people with gold teeth who want to play cards
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We now buy watches primarily for their looks, price, or additional functions. The fact that they tell time seems lost.
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I believe myself to be a worthwhile and inventive performer in my own right. But I'm not in a league with Lenny [Bruce], certainly not in terms of social commentary.
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On Thanksgiving, you realize you're living in a modern world. Millions of turkeys baste themselves in millions of ovens that clean themselves.
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I like Florida. Everything is in the 80s. The temperatures, the ages and the IQ's.
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As far as I'm concerned, humans have not yet come up with a belief that's worth believing.
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Dusting is a good example of the futility of trying to put things right. As soon as you dust, the fact of your next dusting has already been established.
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Fussy eater is a euphemism for big pain in the ass.
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Know my feelings about traffic laws? Cop didn't see it? I didn't do it.
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The caterpillar does all the work, but the butterfly gets all the publicity.
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That's the whole meaning of life, isn't it? Trying to find a place for your stuff.
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No matter how you care to define it, I do not identify with the local group. Planet, species, race, nation, state, religion, party, union, club, association, neighborhood improvement committee I have no interest in any of it. I love and treasure individuals as I meet them, I loathe and despise the groups they identify with and belong to.
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There was about a two-year period at the end of the '60s, when I realized I was in the wrong place and entertaining the wrong people with the wrong material and that I was not being true to myself. I went through a metamorphosis into something more authentic for me, a more authentic stage voice and writing voice.
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I had no shoes, and I felt sorry for myself until I met a man who had no feet. I took his shoes. Now I feel better.
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Religion is just mind control.
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Writing books isn't a drastic departure from writing for the stage.
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I think I am, therefore, I am... I think.
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If God didn't want you to masturbate, he would have given you short arms.
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