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Before they give you a lethal injection, they swab your arm with alcohol. It's true. Well, they don't want you to get an infection, and you can see their point. They don't want some guy go to hell and be sick.
George Carlin
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George Carlin
Age: 71 †
Born: 1937
Born: May 12
Died: 2008
Died: June 22
Actor
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Producer
Humorist
Journalist
Manufacturer
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
New York City
New York
George Denis Patrick Carlin
Give
Infection
Wells
Alcohol
Well
Sick
Giving
Arms
Hell
Guy
Point
Injection
True
Lethal
More quotes by George Carlin
They [the Reagan Administration] want to put street criminals in jail to make life safer for the business criminals. They're against street crime, providing that street isn't Wall Street.
George Carlin
If you have a legal problem, guess how you determine whether or not you need a lawyer. You see a lawyer. Isn't that weird?
George Carlin
I did a lot of thinking, and used mental activity to relieve whatever feelings I had. I became very left-brained, and I was good in school. That is, I was a smart kid.
George Carlin
Broadway isn't a very big career move. There's no money in it and it doesn't mean anything to your career. It's just a nice little jewel in the crown.
George Carlin
The word bipartisan usually means some larger-than-usual deception is being carried out.
George Carlin
There are two types of people: One strives to control his environment, the other strives not to let his environment control him. I like to control my environment, because I feel if I have my physical space in order, then I'm free to dream.
George Carlin
I call him Governor Bush because that's the only political office he's ever held legally in this country. I don't care where they hang his portrait, I don't care how big his library is. To me, he'll always be Governor Bush. I don't even capitalize his name when I type it anymore.
George Carlin
The whole problem with this idea of obscenity and indecency, and all of these things - bad language and whatever - it's all caused by one basic thing, and that is: religious superstition.
George Carlin
I think it keeps the child alive in me. There's a thrill when you steal something in plain view of other people.
George Carlin
Surround yourself with what you love.
George Carlin
When it comes to bullshit...bigtime, major league bullshit...you have to stand in awe of the all-time champion of false promises and exaggerated claims...religion.
George Carlin
Baseball begins in the spring, the season of new life. Football begins in the fall, when everything's dying.
George Carlin
I believe myself to be a worthwhile and inventive performer in my own right. But I'm not in a league with Lenny [Bruce], certainly not in terms of social commentary.
George Carlin
There will be a rain dance Friday night, weather permitting!
George Carlin
Singing is basically a form of pleasant, controlled screaming.
George Carlin
Boxing is a more sophisticated form of hockey.
George Carlin
At best, God can be viewed as nothing more than an uncaring incompetent father-figure
George Carlin
I say things that can be defined as prayers. But I don't pray to a power or ask an entity to intercede in the earthly scheme, because I don't believe that happens. But if I see a really unfortunate person in the street, I do pray, yes, though I suppose it's really more like a mantra to ease my own sorrow.
George Carlin
Religion has actually convinced people that there's an invisible man living in the sky.
George Carlin
Thall shall keep thy religion to thy selves.
George Carlin
