Quote

Before they give you a lethal injection, they swab your arm with alcohol. It's true. Well, they don't want you to get an infection, and you can see their point. They don't want some guy go to hell and be sick.

George Carlin

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George Carlin
Age: 71 †
Born: 1937
Born: May 12
Died: 2008
Died: June 22
Actor
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Producer
Humorist
Journalist
Manufacturer
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
New York City
New York
George Denis Patrick Carlin
Guy
Point
Injection
True
Lethal
Give
Infection
Wells
Alcohol
Well
Sick
Giving
Arms
Hell

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I do something about the weather. I stay home.
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I say if you're going to go for the Angel bullshit you might as well go for the Zombie package as well.
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As powerful as anyone may claim God to be, somehow he always needs money.
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President George Bush declared a National Day of Prayer for Peace. This was after he had carefully arranged and started the war.
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The next time they give you all that civic bullshit about voting, keep in mind that Hitler was elected in a full, free democratic election
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But then you turn 30. Oooohh, what happened there? Makes you sound like bad milk! He TURNED we had to throw him out. There's no fun now, you're Just a sour-dumpling. What's wrong? What's changed?
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So, have a little fun. Soon enough you'll be dead and burning in Hell with the rest of your family.
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I've never been quarantined. But the more I look around the more I think it might not be a bad idea.
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People say life begins at conception, I say life began about a billion years ago and it's a continuous process.
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Just when I discovered the meaning of life, they changed it.
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I think self-expression is present at all times, and whether or not you're talking about the outside world or your responses to it depends on the moment and the subject.
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Tell people an invisible man in the sky created all things, they believe you. Tell them what you've painted is wet, they have to touch it to believe.
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Sometimes when I'm told to use my own discretion, if no one is looking I'll use someone else's. But I always put it back.
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I believe you can joke about anything.
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The ritual was very important to me: cleaning the pot, rolling the pot.
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There's a thrill when you steal something in plain view of other people. When you drop a newspaper over a sign and walk away with it, or take something off a wall and the sound of the glue ripping makes people turn around. Your heart is racing, it's a rush.
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Boxing is a more sophisticated form of hockey.
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And, of course, the funniest food: kumquats. I don't even bring them home anymore. I sit there laughing and they go to waste.
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It's a keep your fingers crossed business, the entertainment business.
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No one ever says, 'It's only a game' when their team is winning.
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