Quote

Before they give you a lethal injection, they swab your arm with alcohol. It's true. Well, they don't want you to get an infection, and you can see their point. They don't want some guy go to hell and be sick.

George Carlin

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George Carlin
Age: 71 †
Born: 1937
Born: May 12
Died: 2008
Died: June 22
Actor
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Producer
Humorist
Journalist
Manufacturer
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
New York City
New York
George Denis Patrick Carlin
Hell
Guy
Point
Injection
True
Lethal
Give
Infection
Wells
Alcohol
Well
Sick
Giving
Arms

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Never get on an airplane if the pilot is wearing a hat that has more than three pastel colors.
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It's depressing to see blacks wanting to dive into the mainstream of American commercial life. They come from a magnificent African culture based on aesthetics, and they all want to become fort builders like the vicious people who originally enslaved them.
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Weather forecast for tonight: dark.
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When he got loaded, the human cannonball knew there were not many men of his caliber.
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Flowers are one of the few things we buy, bring home, watch die, and we don't ask for our money back.
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When people say “clean as a whistle”, they forget that a whistle is full of spit.
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Life is not that complicated.
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Why do we park on driveways and drive on parkways? Just to be silly!
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There are three kinds of people: those who can count, and those who cannot.
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Tell people an invisible man in the sky created all things, they believe you. Tell them what you've painted is wet, they have to touch it to believe.
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If it's true that our species is alone in the universe, then I'd have to say the universe aimed rather low and settled for very little.
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Do you remember Barbara Bush? I call her the silver douchebag.
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I always wanted and enjoyed sex, but I never put much importance on scoring or having an athletic sex life. I guess I define myself more by my career and my commitment to a relationship than by my ability to have a lot of chicks or achieve ten orgasms in an evening.
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One thing leads to another? Not always. Sometimes one thing leads to the same thing. Ask an addict.
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You wouldn't know it, from some of the things I've said over the years, but I like people. I do. I like people, but I like them in short bursts. I don't like people for extended periods of time. I'm all right with them for a little while, but once you get up past around... a minute, minute and a half, I gotta get the fuck out of there.
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By the next one [albom],Occupation: Foole, I was right back into the trip again. I'm more frantic, more breathless. You can hear how sick I am. If you want to see a cokehead, just look at the pictures on the Occupation: Foole album.
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I think we’re part of a greater wisdom that we will ever understand a higher order, call it what you want. Know what I call it? The Big Electron. It doesn’t punish, it doesn’t reward, it doesn’t judge at all. It just is.
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I don't have hobbies hobbies cost money. Interests are quite free.
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There's a thrill when you steal something in plain view of other people. When you drop a newspaper over a sign and walk away with it, or take something off a wall and the sound of the glue ripping makes people turn around. Your heart is racing, it's a rush.
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Things I wonder about the FBI's list of the Ten Most Wanted criminals: When they catch a guy and he comes off the list, does number eleven automatically move up? And does he see it as a promotion? Does he call his criminal friends and say, I made it, Bruno. I'm finally on the list?
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