Quote

Before they give you a lethal injection, they swab your arm with alcohol. It's true. Well, they don't want you to get an infection, and you can see their point. They don't want some guy go to hell and be sick.

George Carlin

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George Carlin
Age: 71 †
Born: 1937
Born: May 12
Died: 2008
Died: June 22
Actor
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Producer
Humorist
Journalist
Manufacturer
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
New York City
New York
George Denis Patrick Carlin
Giving
Arms
Hell
Guy
Point
Injection
True
Lethal
Give
Infection
Wells
Alcohol
Well
Sick

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Everyone smiles in the same language.
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The US Army has announced that although it is true they performed mind-destroying drug tests on hundreds of soldiers in the 1960s, none of the victims have been promoted beyond the rank of lieutenant colonel.
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Republicans have been trying to get people to work for no pay for a long time.
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I'm always relieved when someone is delivering a eulogy and I realize I'm listening to it.
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The enjoyment has been diminishing. Now, there's no question that it's sort of fun to get high.
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Once the high priests and the traders took over, we were lost as a species.
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Can placebos cause side effects? If so, are the side effects real?
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By elimination, dishonesty is the second-best policy.
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There is nothing wrong with the planet. The planet is fine ... been here 4 1/2 billion years. We've been here, what, a 100,000 years, maybe 200,000. And we've only been engaged in heavy industry a little over 200 years. 200 years versus 4 1/2 billion. And we have the conceit to think that somehow we're a threat? The planet isn't going away. We are.
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You show me a tropical fruit and I'll show you a cocksucker from Guatemala.
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When you think about it, 12:15 P.M. is actually 11:75 A.M.
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If you ask me, we could do with a little less motivation. - The people who are causing all the trouble seem highly motivated to me. - Serial killers, stock swindlers, drug dealers, Christian Republicans.
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There are ten thousand people in the United States in a persistent vegetative state. Just enough to start a small town. Think of them as veggie-burghers.
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How can He be perfect? Everything He ever makes...dies.
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No one is more himself than the moment when he's laughing at a joke. It's at those moments that people's defenses go down, and that's when you can slip in a good idea.
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Praying is begging for an unseen deity to alter the laws of nature for someone admittedly unworthy.
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Christian Deodorant: Thou Shalt Not Smell
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I couldn't commit suicide if my life depended on it.
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Tits always look better in a pink sweater.
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