Quote

Before they give you a lethal injection, they swab your arm with alcohol. It's true. Well, they don't want you to get an infection, and you can see their point. They don't want some guy go to hell and be sick.

George Carlin

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George Carlin
Age: 71 †
Born: 1937
Born: May 12
Died: 2008
Died: June 22
Actor
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Producer
Humorist
Journalist
Manufacturer
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
New York City
New York
George Denis Patrick Carlin
Well
Sick
Giving
Arms
Hell
Guy
Point
Injection
True
Lethal
Give
Infection
Wells
Alcohol

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All music is the blues. All of it.
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Every day I break my own personal record for number of days I have been alive.
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Comedy is a socially acceptable form of hostility and aggression. That is what comics do, stand the world upside down.
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A lot of times when they catch a guy who killed twenty-seven people, they say, He was a loner. Well, of course he was a loner he killed everyone he came in contact with.
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You know what I like about the American form of government? They've worked things out so that you're never far from a 7-Eleven.
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I don't like the phrase shock value. Surprise is essential in comedy, and if people are shocked by what I consider merely surprising, then that's their shock. But there is no joke without surprise.
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George Washington’s brother, Lawrence, was the Uncle of Our Country.
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So far, this is the oldest I've been.
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Beethoven was so hard of hearing, he thought he was a painter.
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Why should it be illegal to sell something that's perfectly legal to give away?
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The only good thing ever to come out of religion was the music.
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Y'ever notice how you never seem to get laid on Thanksgiving? I think it's because all the coats are on the bed.
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Once the high priests and the traders took over, we were lost as a species.
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People who own everything know how to relax a little and bend and exhale once in a while, but they're not going to let it get out of control.
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I quit school in ninth grade, even though I was good at the studies. I knew I didn't need school for what I wanted.
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I think we’re part of a greater wisdom that we will ever understand a higher order, call it what you want. Know what I call it? The Big Electron. It doesn’t punish, it doesn’t reward, it doesn’t judge at all. It just is.
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They're only words. You can't be afraid of words that speak the truth, even if it's an unpleasant truth.
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I'm thinking of buying a church and changing it around: maybe selling crack and having a few whores in the pew.
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