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Every time you use the phrase all my life it has a different meaning.

George Carlin

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George Carlin
Age: 71 †
Born: 1937
Born: May 12
Died: 2008
Died: June 22
Actor
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Producer
Humorist
Journalist
Manufacturer
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
New York City
New York
George Denis Patrick Carlin
Use
Different
Every
Time
Life
Phrase
Phrases
Meaning

More quotes by George Carlin

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How can it be a spy satellite if they announce on television that it's a spy satellite?
George Carlin
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You take 5 white guys and you take 5 black guys and put em together for a week and what you won't have is 5 blacks guys talking like, 'Golly gee, we really won that big basketball game' but you will have 5 white guys talking like 'Yo slick, whuzzup...we be shootin hoops and mad playin, slammed those mofos
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There are two types of people: One strives to control his environment, the other strives not to let his environment control him. I like to control my environment.
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A crazy person doesn't really lose his mind. It just becomes something more entertaining.
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They're only words. You can't be afraid of words that speak the truth, even if it's an unpleasant truth.
George Carlin
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The dividend I get [from my compulsion] is the freedom to be totally disorderly in my dreamworld.
George Carlin
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How can He be perfect? Everything He ever makes...dies.
George Carlin
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The US Army has announced that although it is true they performed mind-destroying drug tests on hundreds of soldiers in the 1960s, none of the victims have been promoted beyond the rank of lieutenant colonel.
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There are actually people who go out and re-fight these battles. You know what I say? Use real ammunition! You just might raise the intelligence level of the American gene pool!
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Hooray for most things!
George Carlin
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I recently bought a book of free verse. For twelve dollars.
George Carlin
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As a matter of principle, I never attend the first annual anything.
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The next time they give you all that civic bullshit about voting, keep in mind that Hitler was elected in a full, free democratic election
George Carlin
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The highly motivated people in society are the ones causing all the trouble. It's not the lazy unmotivated folks sitting in front of a TV eating potato chips who bother anyone.
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I hope no one asks me to show them the ropes I have no idea where they are. Maybe I could pull some strings and find out.
George Carlin
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I recently went to a new doctor and noticed he was located in something called the Professional Building. I felt better right away.
George Carlin
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Kilometers are shorter than miles. Save gas, take your next trip in kilometers.
George Carlin
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For an entertainer, part of the thing you do is just style. And the coke did help me get into great runs of pure form.
George Carlin
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They say that instead of cursing the darkness, one should light a candle. Nothing is mentioned, though, about cursing a lack of candles.
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When I listen to those tapes now, the real cocaine shows there's just nothing special about their content.
George Carlin