Quote

The following statement is true. The previous statement is false.

George Carlin

Change background

T
T
T

Change font

TAGS & TOPICS

George Carlin
Age: 71 †
Born: 1937
Born: May 12
Died: 2008
Died: June 22
Actor
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Producer
Humorist
Journalist
Manufacturer
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
New York City
New York
George Denis Patrick Carlin
Previous
Statement
Statements
False
Following
True

More quotes by George Carlin

Image
I think it's the duty of the comedian to find out where the line is drawn and cross it deliberately.
George Carlin
Image
There are an awful lot of things in the cut of street drugs that eventually make you sick. I reached a point where the skin around the edges of my fingernails used to hurt all the time. And it would peel away easily. Now, that must have been from some poison in the cut.
George Carlin
Image
One great thing about getting old is that you can get out of all sorts of social obligations just by saying you're too tired.
George Carlin
Image
So, have a little fun. Soon enough you'll be dead and burning in Hell with the rest of your family.
George Carlin
Image
What hair color do they put on the driver's licenses of bald men?
George Carlin
Image
I, myself, have killed six people. All random, all undetected, no way to trace them to me. And, let me tell you, there's nothin' like it. It's a great feeling. Yeah, I know, you're thinking. 'Aw, he's a comedian. He's just sayin' that stuff.' Good. That's exactly what I want you to think.
George Carlin
Image
War is rich old men protecting their property by sending middle class and lower class young men off to die. It always has been.
George Carlin
Image
Scientists announced today that they have discovered a cure for apathy. However, they claim no one has shown the slightest interest in it.
George Carlin
Image
Never let the brain idle. ‘An idle mind is the devil’s workshop.’ And the devil’s name is Alzheimer’s.
George Carlin
Image
I don't own a camera, so I travel with a police sketch artist.
George Carlin
Image
The wisest man I ever knew taught me something I never forgot. And although I never forgot it, I never quite memorized it either. So what I’m left with is the memory of having learned something very wise that I can’t quite remember.
George Carlin
Image
Those who dance are considered insane by those who cannot hear the music.
George Carlin
Image
Don't sweat the petty things and don't pet the sweaty things.
George Carlin
Image
The planet is fine. The people are f****d. Because everyone is trying to save the planet. The planet doesn’t need that. The planet will take care of itself. People are selfish. And that's what they're doing is trying to save the planet for themselves to have a nicer place to live.
George Carlin
Image
I quit school in ninth grade, even though I was good at the studies. I knew I didn't need school for what I wanted.
George Carlin
Image
The secretiveness. The stealth. Those were obviously the aspects of cocaine use I was addicted to.
George Carlin
Image
People who see life as anything more than pure entertainment are missing the point.
George Carlin
Image
I'm 60 years of age. That's 16 Celsius.
George Carlin
Image
The surgeon general warned today that saliva causes stomach cancer. But apparently only when swallowed in small amounts over a long period of time.
George Carlin
Image
By the age of six or seven, I was already doing voices and faces, making my friends and my mother laugh.
George Carlin