Quote

Do you know the nicest thing about looking at pictures of a 1950's baseball park? The only people wearing baseball caps are the players.

George Carlin

Change background

T
T
T

Change font

TAGS & TOPICS

George Carlin
Age: 71 †
Born: 1937
Born: May 12
Died: 2008
Died: June 22
Actor
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Producer
Humorist
Journalist
Manufacturer
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
New York City
New York
George Denis Patrick Carlin
Player
Nicest
Looking
Caps
Thing
Park
People
Parks
Wearing
Pictures
Players
Baseball

More quotes by George Carlin

Image
We have multiplied our possessions, but reduced our values.
George Carlin
Image
Two things happened. The creative side of my career was harmed. When I'd sit down and write under the influence of coke, the ratio of pages kept to pages thrown out declined drastically. But onstage, when rapping about a feeling I already owned, I would sometimes get a burst of eloquence.
George Carlin
Image
I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a whole lot more as they get older then it dawned on me . . they’re cramming for their final exam.
George Carlin
Image
My father? My father left when I was quite young. Well actually, he was asked to leave. He had trouble metabolizing alcohol.
George Carlin
Image
Fussy eater is a euphemism for big pain in the ass.
George Carlin
Image
The enjoyment has been diminishing. Now, there's no question that it's sort of fun to get high.
George Carlin
Image
I think we overrate ourselves in terms of our abilities and capacities. I mean, just because you can build a really swell bridge doesn't, to my way of thinking, mean that you're an advanced civilization.
George Carlin
Image
I try not to see new comics - their acts or their films. Part of that is professional. I don't want to be influenced. But another part is fear and jealousy. I'm afraid to see how good they might be. I don't like that emotion, but it's part of me.
George Carlin
Image
Irony deals with opposites it has nothing to do with coincidence.
George Carlin
Image
I'm 60 years of age. That's 16 Celsius.
George Carlin
Image
They [the Reagan Administration] want to put street criminals in jail to make life safer for the business criminals. They're against street crime, providing that street isn't Wall Street.
George Carlin
Image
You know the good part about all those executions in Texas? Fewer Texans.
George Carlin
Image
With the proper training, I could've been an evil genius.
George Carlin
Image
Dogs lead a nice life. You never see a dog with a wristwatch.
George Carlin
Image
You live eighty years, and at best you get about six minutes of pure magic.
George Carlin
Image
I believe my first duty is to survive. And I'm not just talking about criminals coming into my home. I once seriously considered getting a gun to protect myself from the police. If I need a weapon to continue living, I'll get one. And I'll use it.
George Carlin
Image
The word bipartisan usually means some larger-than-usual deception is being carried out.
George Carlin
Image
No matter how you care to define it, I do not identify with the local group. Planet, species, race, nation, state, religion, party, union, club, association, neighborhood improvement committee I have no interest in any of it. I love and treasure individuals as I meet them, I loathe and despise the groups they identify with and belong to.
George Carlin
Image
The secretiveness. The stealth. Those were obviously the aspects of cocaine use I was addicted to.
George Carlin
Image
Don't sweat the petty things and don't pet the sweaty things.
George Carlin