Quote

Do you know the nicest thing about looking at pictures of a 1950's baseball park? The only people wearing baseball caps are the players.

George Carlin

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George Carlin
Age: 71 †
Born: 1937
Born: May 12
Died: 2008
Died: June 22
Actor
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Producer
Humorist
Journalist
Manufacturer
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
New York City
New York
George Denis Patrick Carlin
Looking
Caps
Thing
Park
People
Parks
Wearing
Pictures
Players
Baseball
Player
Nicest

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We think in language. We think in words. Language is the landscape of thought.
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You get into your teens, now they can't hold you back. You jump to the next number, or even a few ahead.
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Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac?
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There are battered husbands. Apparently this happens when the woman is real big, the man is very small, and they each drink a quart of whiskey a day.
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Give now. Somewhere, someone feels crappy. You can help.
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Swimming is not a sport. Swimming is a way to keep from drowning. That's just common sense!
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As powerful as anyone may claim God to be, somehow he always needs money.
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Dogs lead a nice life. You never see a dog with a wristwatch.
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I think tobacco and alcohol warnings are too general. They should be more to the point: 'People who smoke will eventually cough up small pieces of lung.'... And 'Warning!! Alcohol will turn you into the same jerk your father was.'
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There is a planet named Pluto, but we don't have one named Goofy. Goofy would be a good name for this planet. It certainly qualifies.
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Think of how stupid the average person is, and realize half of them are stupider than that.
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Do you think Sammy Davis ate Junior Mints?
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We have multiplied our possessions, but reduced our values.
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No one who has had Taps played for them has ever been able to hear it.
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Hallucinogens are a value changer...like it or not, it changes your values, it opens up windows (doors of perception.)
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The surgeon general warned today that saliva causes stomach cancer. But apparently only when swallowed in small amounts over a long period of time.
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