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Do you know the nicest thing about looking at pictures of a 1950's baseball park? The only people wearing baseball caps are the players.

George Carlin

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George Carlin
Age: 71 †
Born: 1937
Born: May 12
Died: 2008
Died: June 22
Actor
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Producer
Humorist
Journalist
Manufacturer
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
New York City
New York
George Denis Patrick Carlin
Players
Baseball
Player
Nicest
Looking
Caps
Thing
Park
People
Parks
Wearing
Pictures

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So far, this is the oldest I've been.
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My advice: Just keep movin' straight ahead. Every now and then you find yourself in a different place.
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I don't understand why prostitution is illegal, Selling is legal, f***ing is legal. So why isn't it legal to sell f***ing? Why should it be illegal to sell something that's legal to give away?
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There is a planet named Pluto, but we don't have one named Goofy. Goofy would be a good name for this planet. It certainly qualifies.
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Give now. Somewhere, someone feels crappy. You can help.
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I've never seen a homeless guy with a bottle of Gatorade.
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Isn’t making a smoking section in a restaurant like making a peeing section in a swimming pool?
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I think I am, therefore, I am... I think.
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I think it keeps the child alive in me. There's a thrill when you steal something in plain view of other people.
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Medical researchers have discovered a new disease that has no symptoms. It is impossible to detect, and there is no known cure. Fortunately, no cases have been reported thus far.
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Once the high priests and the traders took over, we were lost as a species.
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When I first heard the song Don't worry - be happy I realized it was exactly the kind of mindless philosophy that Americans would respond to. It would make a great national anthem along with Me first.
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It seems to me like a perversion of talent for an artist of any kind to further the corporate structure of America or the personal interests of the morons and thieves who run it.
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Cancer research is a growth industry.
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You can't fight City Hall, but you can goddamn sure blow it up.
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A pear is a failed apple.
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Interesting form of murder we come up with: Assassination. We assassinate people who've told us to live together in harmony and try to love one another. Apparently we are not ready to live together.
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Don't confuse my point of view with cynicism. The real cynics are the ones who tell you that everything's gonna be all right.
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Self-expression is a hallmark of an artist, of art, to get something off one's chest, to sing one's song. So that element is present in all art. It is the key to even standing up and saying, Hey, listen to me. Self-expression can be based on looking at the world and making observations about it.
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