Quote

Do you know the nicest thing about looking at pictures of a 1950's baseball park? The only people wearing baseball caps are the players.

George Carlin

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George Carlin
Age: 71 †
Born: 1937
Born: May 12
Died: 2008
Died: June 22
Actor
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Producer
Humorist
Journalist
Manufacturer
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
New York City
New York
George Denis Patrick Carlin
Wearing
Pictures
Players
Baseball
Player
Nicest
Caps
Looking
Park
Thing
Parks
People

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I've never owned a telescope, but it's something I'm thinking of looking into.
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I couldn't commit suicide if my life depended on it.
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May the forces of evil become confused on the way to your house.
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Religion has actually convinced people that there's an invisible man living in the sky.
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Everyone should try to scratch their name on the bomb of life.
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If drumsticks are for playing drums, you would think that breadsticks would be for playing bread, wouldn't you? Would you like some breadsticks? No, thank you, I don't play bread. I play drums. Perhaps I'll have a drum roll.
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To me, smoking pot meant sitting with a newspaper on my legs, rolling the seeds down, pulling the twigs out and finally producing a perfectly cylindrical, absolutely wonderful joint that you either locked at both ends or pinched off, or pinched at one end and left open at the other.
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Results like these [state of the earth] do not belong on the resumé of a supreme being.
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No matter how you care to define it, I do not identify with the local group. Planet, species, race, nation, state, religion, party, union, club, association, neighborhood improvement committee I have no interest in any of it. I love and treasure individuals as I meet them, I loathe and despise the groups they identify with and belong to.
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Know my feelings about traffic laws? Cop didn't see it? I didn't do it.
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Why do they bother saying raw sewage? Do some people actually cook that stuff?
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The base of evil in the world is religion of any kind
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By and large, language is a tool for concealing the truth.
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Would a fly without wings be called a walk?
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So, have a little fun. Soon enough you'll be dead and burning in Hell with the rest of your family.
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I'm in favor of personal growth as long as it doesn't include malignant tumors.
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Standing ovations have become far too commonplace. What we need are ovations where the audience members all punch and kick one another.
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We think in language. We think in words. Language is the landscape of thought.
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Life is not measured by the breaths you take, but by the moments that take your breaths away.
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