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Do you know the nicest thing about looking at pictures of a 1950's baseball park? The only people wearing baseball caps are the players.
George Carlin
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George Carlin
Age: 71 †
Born: 1937
Born: May 12
Died: 2008
Died: June 22
Actor
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Producer
Humorist
Journalist
Manufacturer
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
New York City
New York
George Denis Patrick Carlin
Wearing
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Players
Baseball
Player
Nicest
Caps
Looking
Park
Thing
Parks
People
More quotes by George Carlin
When fascism comes to America, it will not be in brown and black shirts. It will not be with jack-boots. It will be Nike sneakers and Smiley shirts. Germany lost the Second World War. Fascism won it. Believe me, my friend.
George Carlin
I've never owned a telescope, but it's something I'm thinking of looking into.
George Carlin
I couldn't commit suicide if my life depended on it.
George Carlin
May the forces of evil become confused on the way to your house.
George Carlin
Religion has actually convinced people that there's an invisible man living in the sky.
George Carlin
Everyone should try to scratch their name on the bomb of life.
George Carlin
If drumsticks are for playing drums, you would think that breadsticks would be for playing bread, wouldn't you? Would you like some breadsticks? No, thank you, I don't play bread. I play drums. Perhaps I'll have a drum roll.
George Carlin
To me, smoking pot meant sitting with a newspaper on my legs, rolling the seeds down, pulling the twigs out and finally producing a perfectly cylindrical, absolutely wonderful joint that you either locked at both ends or pinched off, or pinched at one end and left open at the other.
George Carlin
Results like these [state of the earth] do not belong on the resumé of a supreme being.
George Carlin
No matter how you care to define it, I do not identify with the local group. Planet, species, race, nation, state, religion, party, union, club, association, neighborhood improvement committee I have no interest in any of it. I love and treasure individuals as I meet them, I loathe and despise the groups they identify with and belong to.
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Know my feelings about traffic laws? Cop didn't see it? I didn't do it.
George Carlin
Why do they bother saying raw sewage? Do some people actually cook that stuff?
George Carlin
The base of evil in the world is religion of any kind
George Carlin
By and large, language is a tool for concealing the truth.
George Carlin
Would a fly without wings be called a walk?
George Carlin
So, have a little fun. Soon enough you'll be dead and burning in Hell with the rest of your family.
George Carlin
I'm in favor of personal growth as long as it doesn't include malignant tumors.
George Carlin
Standing ovations have become far too commonplace. What we need are ovations where the audience members all punch and kick one another.
George Carlin
We think in language. We think in words. Language is the landscape of thought.
George Carlin
Life is not measured by the breaths you take, but by the moments that take your breaths away.
George Carlin