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When I first heard the song Don't worry - be happy I realized it was exactly the kind of mindless philosophy that Americans would respond to. It would make a great national anthem along with Me first.
George Carlin
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George Carlin
Age: 71 †
Born: 1937
Born: May 12
Died: 2008
Died: June 22
Actor
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Producer
Humorist
Journalist
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Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
New York City
New York
George Denis Patrick Carlin
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Worry
Mindless
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Respond
Happy
Realized
Song
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More quotes by George Carlin
Life is tough, then you die.
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The straightest line between a straight distance is two points.
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I think self-expression is present at all times, and whether or not you're talking about the outside world or your responses to it depends on the moment and the subject.
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I love and treasure individuals as I meet them, I loath and despise the groups they identify or belong to.
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I've been a performer for a long time and I know when people are laughing from their guts, from the inside, and when their tuxedos are laughing.
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I've never been quarantined. But the more I look around the more I think it might not be a bad idea.
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Trying to be happy by accumulating possessions is like trying to satisfy hunger by taping sandwiches all over your body
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In most polls there are always about 5 percent of the people who 'don't know.' What isn't generally understood is that it's the same people in every poll.
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I don't understand why prostitution is illegal, Selling is legal, f***ing is legal. So why isn't it legal to sell f***ing? Why should it be illegal to sell something that's legal to give away?
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To me, smoking pot meant sitting with a newspaper on my legs, rolling the seeds down, pulling the twigs out and finally producing a perfectly cylindrical, absolutely wonderful joint that you either locked at both ends or pinched off, or pinched at one end and left open at the other.
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Don't take guilt trips. Take a trip to the mall, to the next county, to a foreign country, but NOT to where the guilt is.
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My mother and her plans for my future. She had it all worked out. I would attend a nice college, then get a job in advertising. You'll be one of those smart-looking fellows in their Madison Avenue suits. And I rebelled against [my mother] and her values and her plans for my future at every opportunity.
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We get what we deserve. They are our elected officials.
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We have multiplied our possessions, but reduced our values.
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Dogs and cats get put to sleep hogs and cows get slaughtered.
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Writing books isn't a drastic departure from writing for the stage.
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People say life begins at conception, I say life began about a billion years ago and it's a continuous process.
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Once the high priests and the traders took over, we were lost as a species.
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I'm 60 years of age. That's 16 Celsius.
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If someone loves you and they leave and don't come back, it was never meant to be. If someone loves you and they leave and come back, set them on fire.
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