Quote

A lot of times when they catch a guy who killed twenty-seven people, they say, He was a loner. Well, of course he was a loner he killed everyone he came in contact with.

George Carlin

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George Carlin
Age: 71 †
Born: 1937
Born: May 12
Died: 2008
Died: June 22
Actor
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Producer
Humorist
Journalist
Manufacturer
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
New York City
New York
George Denis Patrick Carlin
Came
Catch
Guy
Killed
Times
Twenty
Everyone
Twenties
Wells
Contact
Well
Seven
People
Courses
Course
Loner

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Religion is like drugs, it destroys the thinking mind.
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If someone loves you and they leave and don't come back, it was never meant to be. If someone loves you and they leave and come back, set them on fire.
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I think tobacco and alcohol warnings are too general. They should be more to the point: 'People who smoke will eventually cough up small pieces of lung.'... And 'Warning!! Alcohol will turn you into the same jerk your father was.'
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It seems to me like a perversion of talent for an artist of any kind to further the corporate structure of America or the personal interests of the morons and thieves who run it.
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On Thanksgiving, you realize you're living in a modern world. Millions of turkeys baste themselves in millions of ovens that clean themselves.
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Somewhere in the world is a doctor who is worse than all other doctors...and someone has an appointment with him in the morning.
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The planet is fine. The people are f****d. Because everyone is trying to save the planet. The planet doesn’t need that. The planet will take care of itself. People are selfish. And that's what they're doing is trying to save the planet for themselves to have a nicer place to live.
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You know the good part about all those executions in Texas? Fewer Texans.
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Give now. Somewhere, someone feels crappy. You can help.
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I don't have to tell you it goes without saying there are some things better left unsaid. I think that speaks for itself. The less said about it the better.
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When fascism comes to America, it will not be in brown and black shirts. It will not be with jack-boots. It will be Nike sneakers and Smiley shirts. Germany lost the Second World War. Fascism won it. Believe me, my friend.
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In terms of coke, the only money I ever thought about was that dollar bill I had stuck up my nose.
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May the forces of evil become confused on the way to your house.
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I say if you're going to go for the Angel bullshit you might as well go for the Zombie package as well.
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We have multiplied our possessions, but reduced our values.
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It's difficult enough for a young person to put his soul on the line in front of a lot of drunken people without having that hanging over his head, too.
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No matter how you care to define it, I do not identify with the local group. Planet, species, race, nation, state, religion, party, union, club, association, neighborhood improvement committee I have no interest in any of it. I love and treasure individuals as I meet them, I loathe and despise the groups they identify with and belong to.
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The women who line up at a comic's dressing-room door are not what you'd call your class groupies.
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One philosopher has rightly said that property is theft. But I'd like to use my future ownership of property to give something back.
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Once the high priests and the traders took over, we were lost as a species.
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