Quote

A lot of times when they catch a guy who killed twenty-seven people, they say, He was a loner. Well, of course he was a loner he killed everyone he came in contact with.

George Carlin

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George Carlin
Age: 71 †
Born: 1937
Born: May 12
Died: 2008
Died: June 22
Actor
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Producer
Humorist
Journalist
Manufacturer
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
New York City
New York
George Denis Patrick Carlin
Wells
Contact
Well
Seven
People
Courses
Course
Loner
Came
Catch
Guy
Killed
Times
Twenty
Everyone
Twenties

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I finally accepted Jesus. not as my personal savior, but as a man I intend to borrow money from.
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Religion is just mind control.
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My mother and her plans for my future. She had it all worked out. I would attend a nice college, then get a job in advertising. You'll be one of those smart-looking fellows in their Madison Avenue suits. And I rebelled against [my mother] and her values and her plans for my future at every opportunity.
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I think we overrate ourselves in terms of our abilities and capacities. I mean, just because you can build a really swell bridge doesn't, to my way of thinking, mean that you're an advanced civilization.
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We get what we deserve. They are our elected officials.
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So I do have this ambivalence. Obviously I'm against militaries, because of what militaries do. In many ways though, the air force was unmilitary-like. They dropped bombs on people, but...they had a golf course.
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If this is the best God can do, I'm not impressed.
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The ritual was very important to me: cleaning the pot, rolling the pot.
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When you look at the average American you realize there's nothing nature enjoys more than a good joke.
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The following statement is true. The previous statement is false.
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The things that matter in this country have been reduced in choice, there are two political parties, there are a handful insurance companies, there are six or seven information centers.. but if you want a bagel there are 23 flavors. Because you have the illusion of choice!
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On the other hand, pot opens windows and doors that you may not be able to get through any other way.
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I remember when I was a kid I used to come home from Sunday School and my mother would get drunk and try to make pancakes
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The New Testament is not new anymore' it's thousands of years old. It's time to start calling it the Less Old Testament.
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Not only do I not know what's going on, I wouldn't know what to do about it if I did.
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