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Whenever you see the word cuisine used instead of the word food, be prepared to pay an additional eighty percent.
George Carlin
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George Carlin
Age: 71 †
Born: 1937
Born: May 12
Died: 2008
Died: June 22
Actor
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Producer
Humorist
Journalist
Manufacturer
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
New York City
New York
George Denis Patrick Carlin
Food
Cuisine
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Used
Eighty
Whenever
Prepared
Pay
Percent
Instead
More quotes by George Carlin
They say that instead of cursing the darkness, one should light a candle. Nothing is mentioned, though, about cursing a lack of candles.
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Personally, when it comes to rights, I think one of two things is true. I think either we have unlimited rights, or we have no rights at all. Personally I lean towards unlimited rights, I feel for instance I have the right to do anything I please, BUT! If I do something you don't like I think you have the right to kill me.
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We think in language. We think in words. Language is the landscape of thought.
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One of the interesting things about outsidership is that underneath it there's a longing to belong. I just wish the thing I refused to belong to - the species, Western capital culture - was a little more respectable. My one true relaxation is my flotation tank, in which I can either meditate or just drift off.
George Carlin
One thing leads to another? Not always. Sometimes one thing leads to the same thing. Ask an addict.
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No one knows what's next, but everybody does it.
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Tell the people you love that you love them, at every opportunity.
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I put a dollar in one of those change machines. Nothing changed.
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I'm thinking of buying a church and changing it around: maybe selling crack and having a few whores in the pew.
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I recently bought a book of free verse. For twelve dollars.
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Know my feelings about traffic laws? Cop didn't see it? I didn't do it.
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Singing is basically a form of pleasant, controlled screaming.
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When you're born in this world you're given a ticket to the Freak Show. And when you're born in America, you're given a front row seat. And some of us get to sit there with notebooks.
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What do dogs do on their day off? Can't lie around – that's their job!
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The secretiveness. The stealth. Those were obviously the aspects of cocaine use I was addicted to.
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Think of how stupid the average person is, and realize half of them are stupider than that.
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I've never been quarantined. But the more I look around the more I think it might not be a bad idea.
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If you love someone set them free. If they come back, set them on fire.
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A lot of times when they catch a guy who killed twenty-seven people, they say, He was a loner. Well, of course he was a loner he killed everyone he came in contact with.
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I believe myself to be a worthwhile and inventive performer in my own right. But I'm not in a league with Lenny [Bruce], certainly not in terms of social commentary.
George Carlin
