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Whenever you see the word cuisine used instead of the word food, be prepared to pay an additional eighty percent.
George Carlin
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George Carlin
Age: 71 †
Born: 1937
Born: May 12
Died: 2008
Died: June 22
Actor
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Producer
Humorist
Journalist
Manufacturer
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
New York City
New York
George Denis Patrick Carlin
Percent
Instead
Cuisine
Food
Additional
Word
Eighty
Used
Whenever
Prepared
Pay
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That's why they call it the American Dream, because you have to be asleep to believe it.
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My money buys me the freedom not to be a member of the corporate structure. And I certainly don't feel guilty or hypocritical about that. The way our economy is set up, if you don't want to be a corporate moron and you don't want to be enfeebled in the streets, you must earn enough to know that you'll never have to go to them for money.
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Atheism is a non-prophet organization.
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For a long time, I've distinguished between entertainer and performer and entertainer and artist. To me, an entertainer is someone who pleases others, and an artist tries to please himself.
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Once the high priests and the traders took over, we were lost as a species.
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I have this real moron thing I do? It's called thinking.
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There was a built-in audience for the rebel in me that had been all along not expressing himself.
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Have you ever wondered why Republicans are so interested in encouraging people to volunteer in their communities? It’s because volunteers work for no pay. Republicans have been trying to get people to work for no pay for a long time.
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I love and treasure individuals as I meet them, I loath and despise the groups they identify or belong to.
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I say if you're going to go for the Angel bullshit you might as well go for the Zombie package as well.
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If all the world is a stage, where is the audience sitting?
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I can remember staring at the orphanage and feeling envy.
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I recently bought a book of free verse. For twelve dollars.
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Christian Deodorant: Thou Shalt Not Smell
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If someone loves you and they leave and don't come back, it was never meant to be. If someone loves you and they leave and come back, set them on fire.
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Never let the brain idle. ‘An idle mind is the devil’s workshop.’ And the devil’s name is Alzheimer’s.
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In most polls there are always about 5 percent of the people who 'don't know.' What isn't generally understood is that it's the same people in every poll.
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The following statement is true. The previous statement is false.
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How come when it's us, it's an abortion, and when it's a chicken, it's an omelette? Are we so much better than chickens all of a sudden? When did this happen that we passed chickens in goodness? Name six ways we're better than chickens. See, nobody can do it! You know why? 'Cause chickens are decent people.
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