Quote

Whenever you see the word cuisine used instead of the word food, be prepared to pay an additional eighty percent.

George Carlin

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George Carlin
Age: 71 †
Born: 1937
Born: May 12
Died: 2008
Died: June 22
Actor
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Producer
Humorist
Journalist
Manufacturer
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
New York City
New York
George Denis Patrick Carlin
Instead
Food
Cuisine
Word
Additional
Used
Eighty
Whenever
Prepared
Pay
Percent

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Things I wonder about the FBI's list of the Ten Most Wanted criminals: When they catch a guy and he comes off the list, does number eleven automatically move up? And does he see it as a promotion? Does he call his criminal friends and say, I made it, Bruno. I'm finally on the list?
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How come when it's us, it's an abortion, and when it's a chicken, it's an omelette? Are we so much better than chickens all of a sudden? When did this happen that we passed chickens in goodness? Name six ways we're better than chickens. See, nobody can do it! You know why? 'Cause chickens are decent people.
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So, have a little fun. Soon enough you'll be dead and burning in Hell with the rest of your family.
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I was a hip kid. When I saw Bambi it was the midnight show.
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Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups.
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My money buys me the freedom not to be a member of the corporate structure. And I certainly don't feel guilty or hypocritical about that. The way our economy is set up, if you don't want to be a corporate moron and you don't want to be enfeebled in the streets, you must earn enough to know that you'll never have to go to them for money.
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Baseball begins in the spring, the season of new life. Football begins in the fall, when everything's dying.
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People have material needs, but you don't need a deodorant for every different day of the week. You don't need four hundred varieties of mustard. This is what I call too many choices. There are too many choices in America.
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For an entertainer, part of the thing you do is just style. And the coke did help me get into great runs of pure form.
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Do you remember Barbara Bush? I call her the silver douchebag.
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I think of myself as an entertainer: I'm a performing entertainer, I'm a stand-up comic. But there's an artist at work here, too. One who interprets his world through his own filter.
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With the proper training, I could've been an evil genius.
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Art, music, and philosophy are merely poignant examples of what we might have been had not the priests and traders gotten hold of us.
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The surgeon general warned today that saliva causes stomach cancer. But apparently only when swallowed in small amounts over a long period of time.
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If churches want to play the game of politics, let them pay admission like everyone else.
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By and large, language is a tool for concealing the truth.
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Every day I beat my own previous record for the number of consecutive days I’ve stayed alive.
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I hope no one asks me to show them the ropes I have no idea where they are. Maybe I could pull some strings and find out.
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Nothing you see on the Internet is mine unless it comes from one of my albums, books, HBO specials, or appeared on my website.
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When it comes to bullshit...bigtime, major league bullshit...you have to stand in awe of the all-time champion of false promises and exaggerated claims...religion.
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