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How do you write zero in Roman numerals?
George Carlin
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George Carlin
Age: 71 †
Born: 1937
Born: May 12
Died: 2008
Died: June 22
Actor
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Producer
Humorist
Journalist
Manufacturer
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
New York City
New York
George Denis Patrick Carlin
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Roman
Zero
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Writing
More quotes by George Carlin
Would a fly without wings be called a walk?
George Carlin
There will be a rain dance Friday night, weather permitting!
George Carlin
Here's a phrase that apparently the airlines simply made up: near miss. They say that if 2 planes almost collide, it's a near miss. Bullshit, my friend. It's a near hit! A collision is a near miss. [WHAM! CRUNCH!] Look, they nearly missed! Yes, but not quite.
George Carlin
A crazy person doesn't really lose his mind. It just becomes something more entertaining.
George Carlin
I often warn people: Somewhere along the way, someone is going to tell you, 'There is no I in team.' What you should tell them is, 'Maybe not. But there is an I in independence, individuality and integrity.
George Carlin
I had no shoes, and I felt sorry for myself until I met a man who had no feet. I took his shoes. Now I feel better.
George Carlin
By elimination, dishonesty is the second-best policy.
George Carlin
I think of myself as an entertainer: I'm a performing entertainer, I'm a stand-up comic. But there's an artist at work here, too. One who interprets his world through his own filter.
George Carlin
I was a hip kid. When I saw Bambi it was the midnight show.
George Carlin
Property is theft. Nobody owns anything. When you die, it all stays here.
George Carlin
Being a Dodgers fan led to my first Air Force court-martial, but that's another story.
George Carlin
There are women named Faith, Hope, Joy, and Prudence. Why not Despair, Guilt, Rage, and Grief? It seems only right. 'Tom, I'd like you to meet the girl of my dreams, Tragedy.' These days, Trajedi.
George Carlin
Irony deals with opposites it has nothing to do with coincidence.
George Carlin
I don't own a camera, so I travel with a police sketch artist.
George Carlin
If you love someone set them free. If they come back, set them on fire.
George Carlin
Every day I break my own personal record for number of days I have been alive.
George Carlin
To me, smoking pot meant sitting with a newspaper on my legs, rolling the seeds down, pulling the twigs out and finally producing a perfectly cylindrical, absolutely wonderful joint that you either locked at both ends or pinched off, or pinched at one end and left open at the other.
George Carlin
The word bipartisan usually means some larger-than-usual deception is being carried out.
George Carlin
Do you remember Barbara Bush? I call her the silver douchebag.
George Carlin
Things I wonder about the FBI's list of the Ten Most Wanted criminals: When they catch a guy and he comes off the list, does number eleven automatically move up? And does he see it as a promotion? Does he call his criminal friends and say, I made it, Bruno. I'm finally on the list?
George Carlin
