Quote

Know my feelings about traffic laws? Cop didn't see it? I didn't do it.

George Carlin

Change background

T
T
T

Change font

TAGS & TOPICS

George Carlin
Age: 71 †
Born: 1937
Born: May 12
Died: 2008
Died: June 22
Actor
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Producer
Humorist
Journalist
Manufacturer
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
New York City
New York
George Denis Patrick Carlin
Traffic
Laws
Law
Feelings
Didn
Cop

More quotes by George Carlin

Image
Can placebos cause side effects? If so, are the side effects real?
George Carlin
Image
Besides the drugs and counterculture, I started talking about myself, which is the first thing you do when you are a writer.
George Carlin
Image
A dog has no shame. If he can do it, you can watch.
George Carlin
Image
I used to be Irish Catholic. Now I'm an American - you know, you grow.
George Carlin
Image
George Washington’s brother, Lawrence, was the Uncle of Our Country.
George Carlin
Image
Sometimes when I'm told to use my own discretion, if no one is looking I'll use someone else's. But I always put it back.
George Carlin
Image
The older you get, the better you realize you were.
George Carlin
Image
If God is all powerful, can He make a stone so big that He Himself can't lift it?
George Carlin
Image
It's a keep your fingers crossed business, the entertainment business.
George Carlin
Image
We've learned how to make a living, but not a life. We've added years to life, not life to years.
George Carlin
Image
Life is not that complicated.
George Carlin
Image
By elimination, dishonesty is the second-best policy.
George Carlin
Image
Things I wonder about the FBI's list of the Ten Most Wanted criminals: When they catch a guy and he comes off the list, does number eleven automatically move up? And does he see it as a promotion? Does he call his criminal friends and say, I made it, Bruno. I'm finally on the list?
George Carlin
Image
Most of the time people feel okay. Probably it's because at the moment they're not actually dying.
George Carlin
Image
What wine goes with Captain Crunch?
George Carlin
Image
As powerful as anyone may claim God to be, somehow he always needs money.
George Carlin
Image
The more complicated the order, the bigger the asshole. If you walk into a Starbucks and order a 'decaf grandee, half soy, half lowfat, iced vanilla, double-shot, gingerbread cappuccino, extra dry, light ice, with one Sweet-n'-Low and one NutraSweet,' ooooh, you're a huge asshole.
George Carlin
Image
I recently went to a new doctor and noticed he was located in something called the Professional Building. I felt better right away.
George Carlin
Image
The caterpillar does all the work, but the butterfly gets all the publicity.
George Carlin
Image
There's an idea that the human body is somehow evil and bad and there are parts of it that are especially evil and bad, and we should be ashamed. Fear, guilt and shame are built into the attitude toward sex and the body. It's reflected in these prohibitions and these taboos that we have.
George Carlin