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By elimination, dishonesty is the second-best policy.
George Carlin
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George Carlin
Age: 71 †
Born: 1937
Born: May 12
Died: 2008
Died: June 22
Actor
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Producer
Humorist
Journalist
Manufacturer
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
New York City
New York
George Denis Patrick Carlin
Best
Elimination
Dishonesty
Comedian
Honesty
Second
Policy
More quotes by George Carlin
I was a stonehead for 30 years. I'd wake up in the morning and if I couldn't decide whether I wanted a joint or not, I'd smoke a joint to figure it out. And I stayed high all day long.
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We think in language. The quality of our thoughts and ideas can only be as good as the quality of our language.
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Your home is your refuge.
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There's a humorous side to every situation. The challenge is to find it.
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I simply decided that dope wasn't worth the ritual.
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There was about a two-year period at the end of the '60s, when I realized I was in the wrong place and entertaining the wrong people with the wrong material and that I was not being true to myself. I went through a metamorphosis into something more authentic for me, a more authentic stage voice and writing voice.
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People who see life as anything more than pure entertainment are missing the point.
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The sicker you get, the harder it is to remember if you took your medicine.
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I thought about how mothers feed their babies with tiny little spoons and forks so I wondered, what do Chinese mothers use? Toothpicks?
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When you look at the average American you realize there's nothing nature enjoys more than a good joke.
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You know who would make an interesting murder-suicide? Madeline Albright and Yanni.
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The word bipartisan usually means some larger-than-usual deception is being carried out.
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Fussy eater is a euphemism for big pain in the ass.
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I think it's the duty of the comedian to find out where the line is drawn and cross it deliberately.
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So far, this is the oldest I've been.
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Without the laughs, the audience wouldn't be there at all, so in that sense, yes, I am a comedian.
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If you have a legal problem, guess how you determine whether or not you need a lawyer. You see a lawyer. Isn't that weird?
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I don't own a camera, so I travel with a police sketch artist.
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Soft rock music isn’t rock, and it ain’t music. It’s just soft.
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I don't have hobbies hobbies cost money. Interests are quite free.
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