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It is impossible for an abortion clinic to have a waiting list of more than nine months.

George Carlin

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George Carlin
Age: 71 †
Born: 1937
Born: May 12
Died: 2008
Died: June 22
Actor
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Producer
Humorist
Journalist
Manufacturer
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
New York City
New York
George Denis Patrick Carlin
Waiting
Clinic
List
Abortion
Lists
Nine
Months
Impossible

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The older you get, the better you realize you were.
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I finally accepted Jesus. not as my personal savior, but as a man I intend to borrow money from.
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Hitler never bothered with restaurant reservations he just dropped by. And somehow they always found him a table.
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I love and treasure individuals as I meet them, I loath and despise the groups they identify or belong to.
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Just when I discovered the meaning of life, they changed it.
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Have you ever wondered why Republicans are so interested in encouraging people to volunteer in their communities? It’s because volunteers work for no pay. Republicans have been trying to get people to work for no pay for a long time.
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The status quo sucks.
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I think I am, therefore, I am... I think.
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Why do overlook and oversee mean opposite things?
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My mother and her plans for my future. She had it all worked out. I would attend a nice college, then get a job in advertising. You'll be one of those smart-looking fellows in their Madison Avenue suits. And I rebelled against [my mother] and her values and her plans for my future at every opportunity.
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I definitely have a gift for language that is rhythmic and attractive to the ear, and I have interesting [verbal] imagery which I guess is a poetic touch.
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Somewhere in the world is a doctor who is worse than all other doctors...and someone has an appointment with him in the morning.
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I say things that can be defined as prayers. But I don't pray to a power or ask an entity to intercede in the earthly scheme, because I don't believe that happens. But if I see a really unfortunate person in the street, I do pray, yes, though I suppose it's really more like a mantra to ease my own sorrow.
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What exactly is 'viewer discretion'? If viewers had discretion, most television shows would not be on the air.
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If it's true that our species is alone in the universe, then I'd have to say the universe aimed rather low and settled for very little.
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I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a whole lot more as they get older then it dawned on me . . they’re cramming for their final exam.
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They say if you outlaw guns, only outlaws will have guns. Well, those are precisely the people who need them!
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