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The whole problem with this idea of obscenity and indecency, and all of these things - bad language and whatever - it's all caused by one basic thing, and that is: religious superstition.
George Carlin
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George Carlin
Age: 71 †
Born: 1937
Born: May 12
Died: 2008
Died: June 22
Actor
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Producer
Humorist
Journalist
Manufacturer
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
New York City
New York
George Denis Patrick Carlin
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Indecency
Language
Obscenity
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Superstition
Ideas
Superstitions
Whole
Caused
Thing
Basic
Things
Religious
Whatever
More quotes by George Carlin
Personally, emotionally, I'd rather divorce myself from the world than face the heartbreak of partial success. Because partial success implies overwhelming failure.
George Carlin
Personally, when it comes to rights, I think one of two things is true. I think either we have unlimited rights, or we have no rights at all. Personally I lean towards unlimited rights, I feel for instance I have the right to do anything I please, BUT! If I do something you don't like I think you have the right to kill me.
George Carlin
Don't take guilt trips. Take a trip to the mall, to the next county, to a foreign country, but NOT to where the guilt is.
George Carlin
The straightest line between a straight distance is two points.
George Carlin
Writing is really wonderful art. A lot of this is discovery. A lot of things are lying around waiting to be discovered and that's our job as writers is to just notice them and bring them to life.
George Carlin
Here's a phrase that apparently the airlines simply made up: near miss. They say that if 2 planes almost collide, it's a near miss. Bullshit, my friend. It's a near hit! A collision is a near miss. [WHAM! CRUNCH!] Look, they nearly missed! Yes, but not quite.
George Carlin
I've never owned a telescope, but it's something I'm thinking of looking into.
George Carlin
Sun worship is fairly simple. There's no mystery, no miracles, no pageantry, no one asks for money, there are no songs to learn, and we don't have a special building where we all gather once a week to pare compare clothing.
George Carlin
When it comes to bullshit, you have to stand in awe of the all-time champion of false promises and exaggerated claims: religion... Religion easily has the greatest bullshit story ever told. Religion has actually convinced people that there's an invisible man living in the sky who watches everything you do.
George Carlin
There are an awful lot of things in the cut of street drugs that eventually make you sick. I reached a point where the skin around the edges of my fingernails used to hurt all the time. And it would peel away easily. Now, that must have been from some poison in the cut.
George Carlin
You get into your teens, now they can't hold you back. You jump to the next number, or even a few ahead.
George Carlin
There was a built-in audience for the rebel in me that had been all along not expressing himself.
George Carlin
If you nail a tool shed closed, how do you put the hammer away?
George Carlin
Surround yourself with what you love, whether it's family, pets, keepsakes, music, plants, hobbies, whatever.
George Carlin
Results like these [state of the earth] do not belong on the resumé of a supreme being.
George Carlin
For an entertainer, part of the thing you do is just style. And the coke did help me get into great runs of pure form.
George Carlin
May the forces of evil become confused on the way to your house.
George Carlin
If churches want to play the game of politics, let them pay admission like everyone else.
George Carlin
The status quo sucks.
George Carlin
We created god in our own image and likeness!
George Carlin