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The whole problem with this idea of obscenity and indecency, and all of these things - bad language and whatever - it's all caused by one basic thing, and that is: religious superstition.
George Carlin
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George Carlin
Age: 71 †
Born: 1937
Born: May 12
Died: 2008
Died: June 22
Actor
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Producer
Humorist
Journalist
Manufacturer
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
New York City
New York
George Denis Patrick Carlin
Language
Obscenity
Problem
Superstition
Ideas
Superstitions
Whole
Caused
Thing
Basic
Things
Religious
Whatever
Idea
Indecency
More quotes by George Carlin
I never worry that all hell will break loose. My concern is that only part of hell will break loose and be much harder to detect.
George Carlin
Do you realize that the only time in our lives when we like to get old is when we're kids? If you're less than 10 years old, you're so excited about aging that you think in fractions.
George Carlin
All the wrong things for all the wrong reasons. Sometimes people just want to feel different. And so long as Third World peasants are poor they will send us drugs, and as long as we are empty we will ask for this little plant.
George Carlin
You get into your teens, now they can't hold you back. You jump to the next number, or even a few ahead.
George Carlin
One of the first things they teach you in Driver's Ed is where to put your hands on the steering wheel. They tell you put 'em at ten o'clock and two o' clock. Never mind that . I put mine at 9:45 and 2:17. Gives me an extra half hour to get where I'm goin'.
George Carlin
I just love it when I hear a little commotion, someone leaving. When I see those doors in the back . . .
George Carlin
Lenny Bruce genius was the unique ability to investigate hypocrisy and expose social inequities in a street rap that was really a form of poetry.
George Carlin
I find that an entertainer is quite content to sit still, and I think an artist always has a little motion, always going somewhere. May not know where it is, but there is some sort of unnamed destination. There is some pulling, some movement. So I just found myself in that category according to my own analysis.
George Carlin
For a long time, I've distinguished between entertainer and performer and entertainer and artist. To me, an entertainer is someone who pleases others, and an artist tries to please himself.
George Carlin
If all our national holidays were observed on Wednesdays, we could wind up with nine-day weekends.
George Carlin
If drumsticks are for playing drums, you would think that breadsticks would be for playing bread, wouldn't you? Would you like some breadsticks? No, thank you, I don't play bread. I play drums. Perhaps I'll have a drum roll.
George Carlin
Hitler never bothered with restaurant reservations he just dropped by. And somehow they always found him a table.
George Carlin
I can remember staring at the orphanage and feeling envy.
George Carlin
It was the typical paranoid experience [to hide coke]. As soon as I knew my hiding place, I thought the whole world knew it. I'd write clues to my hiding places in code, then forget the code and spend the rest of the day looking for my coke.
George Carlin
Why do they bother with a suicide watch when someone is on death row? Keep an eye on this guy. We're gonna kill him, and we don't want him to hurt himself.
George Carlin
Military cemeteries around the world are packed with brainwashed dead soldiers who were convinced God was on their side. America prays for God to destroy our enemies. Our enemies pray for God to destroy us. Somebody's gonna be disappointed! Somebody's wasting their time! Could it be.. everyone?
George Carlin
Frisbeetarianism is the belief that when you die, your soul goes up on the roof and gets stuck.
George Carlin
One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor.
George Carlin
I don't have hobbies hobbies cost money. Interests are quite free.
George Carlin
Isn’t making a smoking section in a restaurant like making a peeing section in a swimming pool?
George Carlin