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At best, God can be viewed as nothing more than an uncaring incompetent father-figure
George Carlin
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George Carlin
Age: 71 †
Born: 1937
Born: May 12
Died: 2008
Died: June 22
Actor
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Producer
Humorist
Journalist
Manufacturer
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
New York City
New York
George Denis Patrick Carlin
Best
Nothing
Uncaring
Incompetent
Viewed
Figure
Figures
Father
More quotes by George Carlin
We've learned how to make a living, but not a life. We've added years to life, not life to years.
George Carlin
I knew a transsexual guy whose only ambition is to eat, drink, and be Mary.
George Carlin
Life is not that complicated.
George Carlin
They're only words. You can't be afraid of words that speak the truth, even if it's an unpleasant truth.
George Carlin
Golf is an arrogant, elitist game that takes up entirely too much space in this country.
George Carlin
Some national parks have long waiting lists for camping reservations. When you have to wait a year to sleep next to a tree, something is wrong.
George Carlin
We now buy watches primarily for their looks, price, or additional functions. The fact that they tell time seems lost.
George Carlin
I've never owned a telescope, but it's something I'm thinking of looking into.
George Carlin
Why do they bother saying raw sewage? Do some people actually cook that stuff?
George Carlin
The planet isn't going anywhere. We are.
George Carlin
I think we overrate ourselves in terms of our abilities and capacities. I mean, just because you can build a really swell bridge doesn't, to my way of thinking, mean that you're an advanced civilization.
George Carlin
If work is so terrific, how come they have to pay you to do it?
George Carlin
The child molester skipped breakfast, but said he'd grab a little something on the way to work.
George Carlin
There was a built-in audience for the rebel in me that had been all along not expressing himself.
George Carlin
If the reason for climbing Mt. Everest is that it's hard to do, why does everyone go up the easy side?
George Carlin
Don't take guilt trips. Take a trip to the mall, to the next county, to a foreign country, but NOT to where the guilt is.
George Carlin
The surgeon general warned today that saliva causes stomach cancer. But apparently only when swallowed in small amounts over a long period of time.
George Carlin
In comic strips, the person on the left always speaks first.
George Carlin
The mayfly lives only one day. And sometimes it rains.
George Carlin
Have you ever started a path? No one seems willing to do this. We don't mind using existing paths, but we rarely start new ones. Do it today. Start a path. Even if it doesn't lead anywhere
George Carlin
