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Catholics are against abortions. Catholics are against homosexuals. But, I can't think of anyone who has less abortions than homosexuals!

George Carlin

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George Carlin
Age: 71 †
Born: 1937
Born: May 12
Died: 2008
Died: June 22
Actor
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Producer
Humorist
Journalist
Manufacturer
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
New York City
New York
George Denis Patrick Carlin
Homosexual
Abortion
Catholic
Anyone
Less
Think
Abortions
Thinking
Homosexuals
Catholics

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You're all going to die. I hate to remind you, but it is on your schedule. It probably won't happen when you'd like generally, it's an inconvenience.
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There are women named Faith, Hope, Joy, and Prudence. Why not Despair, Guilt, Rage, and Grief? It seems only right. 'Tom, I'd like you to meet the girl of my dreams, Tragedy.' These days, Trajedi.
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Soft rock music isn’t rock, and it ain’t music. It’s just soft.
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Why do they bother saying raw sewage? Do some people actually cook that stuff?
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I put a dollar in one of those change machines. Nothing changed.
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I just try to find targets I feel something about and express it my way.
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It was the typical paranoid experience [to hide coke]. As soon as I knew my hiding place, I thought the whole world knew it. I'd write clues to my hiding places in code, then forget the code and spend the rest of the day looking for my coke.
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It's legal for men to be floorwalkers and illegal for women to be streetwalkers.
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Self-expression is a hallmark of an artist, of art, to get something off one's chest, to sing one's song. So that element is present in all art. It is the key to even standing up and saying, Hey, listen to me. Self-expression can be based on looking at the world and making observations about it.
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We have multiplied our possessions, but reduced our values.
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Life is not that complicated.
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If God is all powerful, can He make a stone so big that He Himself can't lift it?
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Why do 'slow down' and 'slow up' mean the same thing? Why is the third hand on the watch called the second hand?
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So far, this is the oldest I've been.
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Would a fly without wings be called a walk?
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Death is caused by swallowing small amounts of saliva over a long period of time.
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