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And now gay people want to get married... Haven't they suffered enough?

George Carlin

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George Carlin
Age: 71 †
Born: 1937
Born: May 12
Died: 2008
Died: June 22
Actor
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Producer
Humorist
Journalist
Manufacturer
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
New York City
New York
George Denis Patrick Carlin
Married
Enough
People
Suffered
Gay
Havens
Haven

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My mother and her plans for my future. She had it all worked out. I would attend a nice college, then get a job in advertising. You'll be one of those smart-looking fellows in their Madison Avenue suits. And I rebelled against [my mother] and her values and her plans for my future at every opportunity.
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The sicker you get, the harder it is to remember if you took your medicine.
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Comedy is a socially acceptable form of hostility and aggression. That is what comics do, stand the world upside down.
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The women who line up at a comic's dressing-room door are not what you'd call your class groupies.
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The ritual was very important to me: cleaning the pot, rolling the pot.
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I say if you're going to go for the Angel bullshit you might as well go for the Zombie package as well.
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Medical researchers have discovered a new disease that has no symptoms. It is impossible to detect, and there is no known cure. Fortunately, no cases have been reported thus far.
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You can't fight City Hall, but you can goddamn sure blow it up.
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So I do have this ambivalence. Obviously I'm against militaries, because of what militaries do. In many ways though, the air force was unmilitary-like. They dropped bombs on people, but...they had a golf course.
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It's legal for men to be floorwalkers and illegal for women to be streetwalkers.
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I'd say pot has been a break-even proposition for me.
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If work is so terrific, how come they have to pay you to do it?
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No one who has had Taps played for them has ever been able to hear it.
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Have you ever started a path? No one seems willing to do this. We don't mind using existing paths, but we rarely start new ones. Do it today. Start a path. Even if it doesn't lead anywhere
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I'll tell you a little secret about the Blues: it's not enough to know which notes to play, you have to know why they need to be played.
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You wouldn't know it, from some of the things I've said over the years, but I like people. I do. I like people, but I like them in short bursts. I don't like people for extended periods of time. I'm all right with them for a little while, but once you get up past around... a minute, minute and a half, I gotta get the fuck out of there.
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You take 5 white guys and you take 5 black guys and put em together for a week and what you won't have is 5 blacks guys talking like, 'Golly gee, we really won that big basketball game' but you will have 5 white guys talking like 'Yo slick, whuzzup...we be shootin hoops and mad playin, slammed those mofos
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Rhetoric paints with a broad brush.
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Art, music, and philosophy are merely poignant examples of what we might have been had not the priests and traders gotten hold of us.
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Isn’t making a smoking section in a restaurant like making a peeing section in a swimming pool?
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