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And now gay people want to get married... Haven't they suffered enough?
George Carlin
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George Carlin
Age: 71 †
Born: 1937
Born: May 12
Died: 2008
Died: June 22
Actor
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Producer
Humorist
Journalist
Manufacturer
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
New York City
New York
George Denis Patrick Carlin
Suffered
Gay
Havens
Haven
Married
Enough
People
More quotes by George Carlin
When you think about it, 12:15 P.M. is actually 11:75 A.M.
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Think of how stupid the average person is, and realize half of them are stupider than that.
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A pear is a failed apple.
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Traditional American values: Genocide, aggression, conformity, emotional repression, hypocrisy, and the worship of comfort and consumer goods.
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Avoid people with gold teeth who want to play cards
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You wouldn't know it, from some of the things I've said over the years, but I like people. I do. I like people, but I like them in short bursts. I don't like people for extended periods of time. I'm all right with them for a little while, but once you get up past around... a minute, minute and a half, I gotta get the fuck out of there.
George Carlin
In the doggie dictionary, under bow wow it says, See arf arf.
George Carlin
Religion cruelly exploits our need to feel connected.
George Carlin
Catholics are against abortions. Catholics are against homosexuals. But, I can't think of anyone who has less abortions than homosexuals!
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The secretiveness. The stealth. Those were obviously the aspects of cocaine use I was addicted to.
George Carlin
It's harder to be funny from the position of power.
George Carlin
Fussy eater is a euphemism for big pain in the ass.
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Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard
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For an entertainer, part of the thing you do is just style. And the coke did help me get into great runs of pure form.
George Carlin
I always wanted and enjoyed sex, but I never put much importance on scoring or having an athletic sex life. I guess I define myself more by my career and my commitment to a relationship than by my ability to have a lot of chicks or achieve ten orgasms in an evening.
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Test of Metal: Will of Iron, Nerves of Steel, Heart of Gold, Balls of Brass.
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When you're born in this world you're given a ticket to the Freak Show. And when you're born in America, you're given a front row seat. And some of us get to sit there with notebooks.
George Carlin
I always knew I could hold people's attention and make them laugh every 30 or 40 seconds, and I got approval and attention for that, so the behavior was reinforced. Later, that became an important skill on the street corner.
George Carlin
Do you think Sammy Davis ate Junior Mints?
George Carlin
The sicker you get, the harder it is to remember if you took your medicine.
George Carlin