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I think tobacco and alcohol warnings are too general. They should be more to the point: 'People who smoke will eventually cough up small pieces of lung.'... And 'Warning!! Alcohol will turn you into the same jerk your father was.'
George Carlin
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George Carlin
Age: 71 †
Born: 1937
Born: May 12
Died: 2008
Died: June 22
Actor
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Producer
Humorist
Journalist
Manufacturer
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
New York City
New York
George Denis Patrick Carlin
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Tobacco
Small
Lungs
Turns
Warning
Point
Alcohol
Father
Eventually
Warnings
Think
Smoke
Lung
Thinking
General
Cough
People
Pieces
Jerk
More quotes by George Carlin
Well, if crime fighters fight crime and fire fighters fight fire, what do freedom fighters fight?
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Sometimes, when I was really loaded, I'd sit on the floor and sort out every nut and bolt in the house. It was just sheer insanity. And often there'd be speed in the cut, so I was a speed freak, too.
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If someone loves you and they leave and don't come back, it was never meant to be. If someone loves you and they leave and come back, set them on fire.
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If you live long enough, sooner or later everybody you know has cancer.
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I definitely have a gift for language that is rhythmic and attractive to the ear, and I have interesting [verbal] imagery which I guess is a poetic touch.
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Baseball begins in the spring, the season of new life. Football begins in the fall, when everything's dying.
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With the proper training, I could've been an evil genius.
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Comedy is a socially acceptable form of hostility and aggression. That is what comics do, stand the world upside down.
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No one ever says, 'It's only a game' when their team is winning.
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I think it keeps the child alive in me. There's a thrill when you steal something in plain view of other people.
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Some people think that words can injure the psyche or the moral fiber. And they really can't.
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What occurs as you age is an accumulation of information, data, knowledge, and what I'm going to call the matrix of the mind. There's just a rich, textured, field of information and impressions that have been all networked by the brain.
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Republicans have been trying to get people to work for no pay for a long time.
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People always tell me Have a nice day. Well what if I don't want to? What if I want to have a crappy day?
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I never worry that all hell will break loose. My concern is that only part of hell will break loose and be much harder to detect.
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Test of Metal: Will of Iron, Nerves of Steel, Heart of Gold, Balls of Brass.
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One of the effects it [cocaine] had on my personality - my moods, my behaviors - was that it inhibited me a lot. It kind of took possibilities out of my world, and made the focus of things very narrow.
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Death is caused by swallowing small amounts of saliva over a long period of time.
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Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard
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Life is tough, then you die.
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