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I think tobacco and alcohol warnings are too general. They should be more to the point: 'People who smoke will eventually cough up small pieces of lung.'... And 'Warning!! Alcohol will turn you into the same jerk your father was.'
George Carlin
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George Carlin
Age: 71 †
Born: 1937
Born: May 12
Died: 2008
Died: June 22
Actor
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Producer
Humorist
Journalist
Manufacturer
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
New York City
New York
George Denis Patrick Carlin
Small
Lungs
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Warning
Point
Alcohol
Father
Eventually
Warnings
Think
Smoke
Lung
Thinking
General
Cough
People
Pieces
Jerk
Turn
Tobacco
More quotes by George Carlin
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Don't sweat the petty things and don't pet the sweaty things.
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They [the Reagan Administration] want to put street criminals in jail to make life safer for the business criminals. They're against street crime, providing that street isn't Wall Street.
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And, of course, the funniest food: kumquats. I don't even bring them home anymore. I sit there laughing and they go to waste.
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If you ask me, we could do with a little less motivation. - The people who are causing all the trouble seem highly motivated to me. - Serial killers, stock swindlers, drug dealers, Christian Republicans.
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There's a humorous side to every situation. The challenge is to find it.
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Art, music, and philosophy are merely poignant examples of what we might have been had not the priests and traders gotten hold of us.
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It's a keep your fingers crossed business, the entertainment business.
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Don't confuse my point of view with cynicism. The real cynics are the ones who tell you that everything's gonna be all right.
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You know an odd feeling? Sitting on the toilet eating a chocolate candy bar.
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My father? My father left when I was quite young. Well actually, he was asked to leave. He had trouble metabolizing alcohol.
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I've never been quarantined. But the more I look around the more I think it might not be a bad idea.
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Sometimes a fireman will go to great strenuous lengths to save a raccoon that's stuck in a drainpipe and then go out on the weekend and kill several of them for amusement.
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If one synchronized swimmer drowns, do the rest drown too?
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How can it be a spy satellite if they announce on television that it's a spy satellite?
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There's a thrill when you steal something in plain view of other people. When you drop a newspaper over a sign and walk away with it, or take something off a wall and the sound of the glue ripping makes people turn around. Your heart is racing, it's a rush.
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I've never seen a homeless guy with a bottle of Gatorade.
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Surround yourself with what you love.
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With the proper training, I could've been an evil genius.
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I love and treasure individuals as I meet them, I loath and despise the groups they identify or belong to.
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