Quote

Interesting form of murder we come up with: Assassination. We assassinate people who've told us to live together in harmony and try to love one another. Apparently we are not ready to live together.

George Carlin

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George Carlin
Age: 71 †
Born: 1937
Born: May 12
Died: 2008
Died: June 22
Actor
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Producer
Humorist
Journalist
Manufacturer
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
New York City
New York
George Denis Patrick Carlin
Form
Assassination
Together
Apparently
Live
Murder
Come
Harmony
Trying
Told
Love
Ready
People
Interesting
Another
Assassinate

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Don't take guilt trips. Take a trip to the mall, to the next county, to a foreign country, but NOT to where the guilt is.
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On the other hand, pot opens windows and doors that you may not be able to get through any other way.
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If the cops didn't see it, I didn't do it!
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In comic strips, the person on the left always speaks first.
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You're all going to die. I hate to remind you, but it is on your schedule. It probably won't happen when you'd like generally, it's an inconvenience.
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Without the laughs, the audience wouldn't be there at all, so in that sense, yes, I am a comedian.
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I should think it takes a fairly low intellect to draw pleasure from the following activity: hitting a ball with a crooked stick. and then walking after it! An then ..hitting it again!
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Children are not our future, and I can prove it with my usual, flawless logic. Children can't be our future, because by the time the future arrives, they won't be children anymore, so blow me!
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Boxing is a more sophisticated form of hockey.
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Well, if crime fighters fight crime and fire fighters fight fire, what do freedom fighters fight?
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The more syllables a euphemism has, the further divorced from reality it is.
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Test of Metal: Will of Iron, Nerves of Steel, Heart of Gold, Balls of Brass.
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Cancer research is a growth industry.
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And speaking of sex, the Immaculate Conception does not mean Jesus was conceived in the absence of sex. It means Mary was conceived without Original Sin. That's all it has ever meant. And according to the tabloids, Mary is apparently the only one who can make such a claim. The Jesus thing is called virgin birth.
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Art, music, and philosophy are merely poignant examples of what we might have been had not the priests and traders gotten hold of us.
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Most of the time people feel okay. Probably it's because at the moment they're not actually dying.
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Those who dance are considered insane by those who cannot hear the music.
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Why should it be illegal to sell something that's perfectly legal to give away?
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