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Life is not that complicated.
George Carlin
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George Carlin
Age: 71 †
Born: 1937
Born: May 12
Died: 2008
Died: June 22
Actor
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Producer
Humorist
Journalist
Manufacturer
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
New York City
New York
George Denis Patrick Carlin
Complicated
Life
More quotes by George Carlin
I had no shoes, and I felt sorry for myself until I met a man who had no feet. I took his shoes. Now I feel better.
George Carlin
Ever wonder about those people who spend $2 apiece on those little bottles of Evian water? Try spelling Evian backward.
George Carlin
There was a built-in audience for the rebel in me that had been all along not expressing himself.
George Carlin
There are two types of people: One strives to control his environment, the other strives not to let his environment control him. I like to control my environment.
George Carlin
When people say “clean as a whistle”, they forget that a whistle is full of spit.
George Carlin
The status quo sucks.
George Carlin
All the media and the politicians ever talk about is things that separate us, things that make us different from one another
George Carlin
People have material needs, but you don't need a deodorant for every different day of the week. You don't need four hundred varieties of mustard. This is what I call too many choices. There are too many choices in America.
George Carlin
I think self-expression is present at all times, and whether or not you're talking about the outside world or your responses to it depends on the moment and the subject.
George Carlin
The keys to America: The cross, the brew, the dollar, and the gun.
George Carlin
I'll bet there aren't too many people hooked on crack who can play the bagpipes.
George Carlin
Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard
George Carlin
You wouldn't know it, from some of the things I've said over the years, but I like people. I do. I like people, but I like them in short bursts. I don't like people for extended periods of time. I'm all right with them for a little while, but once you get up past around... a minute, minute and a half, I gotta get the fuck out of there.
George Carlin
Nothing rectifies out-of-control market failures like a healthy dose of government intervention and mountains of bureaucracy.
George Carlin
Conservatives say if you don't give the rich more money, they will lose their incentive to invest. As for the poor, they tell us they've lost all incentive because we've given them too much money.
George Carlin
Every person you look at, you can see the universe in their eyes, if you're really looking
George Carlin
Dogs and cats get put to sleep hogs and cows get slaughtered.
George Carlin
Think of how stupid the average person is, and realize half of them are stupider than that.
George Carlin
I believe you can joke about anything.
George Carlin
A pear is a failed apple.
George Carlin
