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Life is not that complicated.

George Carlin

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George Carlin
Age: 71 †
Born: 1937
Born: May 12
Died: 2008
Died: June 22
Actor
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Producer
Humorist
Journalist
Manufacturer
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
New York City
New York
George Denis Patrick Carlin
Life
Complicated

More quotes by George Carlin

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I think we overrate ourselves in terms of our abilities and capacities. I mean, just because you can build a really swell bridge doesn't, to my way of thinking, mean that you're an advanced civilization.
George Carlin
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The child molester skipped breakfast, but said he'd grab a little something on the way to work.
George Carlin
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Dogs lead a nice life. You never see a dog with a wristwatch.
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The secret of success is doing something you love, doing it well and being recognized for it
George Carlin
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If God didn't want you to masturbate, he would have given you short arms.
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Isn’t it a bit unnerving that doctors call what they do “practice”?
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In comic strips, the person on the left always speaks first.
George Carlin
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I just try to find targets I feel something about and express it my way.
George Carlin
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The keys to America: The cross, the brew, the dollar, and the gun.
George Carlin
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When someone is impatient and says, 'I haven't got all day,' I always wonder, How can that be? How can you not have all day?
George Carlin
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Hallucinogens are a value changer...like it or not, it changes your values, it opens up windows (doors of perception.)
George Carlin
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The things that matter in this country have been reduced in choice, there are two political parties, there are a handful insurance companies, there are six or seven information centers.. but if you want a bagel there are 23 flavors. Because you have the illusion of choice!
George Carlin
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You can't fight City Hall, but you can goddamn sure blow it up.
George Carlin
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A lot of times when they catch a guy who killed twenty-seven people, they say, He was a loner. Well, of course he was a loner he killed everyone he came in contact with.
George Carlin
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Hey! Who stole my collection of used bandages?! And they also got away with my nude pictures of Ernest Borgnine!
George Carlin
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The status quo sucks.
George Carlin
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Fussy eater is a euphemism for big pain in the ass.
George Carlin
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Don Ho can sign autographs 3.4 times faster than Efrem Zimbalist Jr.
George Carlin
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Some people see things that are and ask, Why? Some people dream of things that never were and ask, Why not? Some people have to go to work and don't have time for all that.
George Carlin
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If you have a legal problem, guess how you determine whether or not you need a lawyer. You see a lawyer. Isn't that weird?
George Carlin