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We now buy watches primarily for their looks, price, or additional functions. The fact that they tell time seems lost.
George Carlin
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George Carlin
Age: 71 †
Born: 1937
Born: May 12
Died: 2008
Died: June 22
Actor
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Producer
Humorist
Journalist
Manufacturer
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
New York City
New York
George Denis Patrick Carlin
Fact
Lost
Facts
Additional
Tell
Functions
Seems
Primarily
Looks
Price
Time
Function
Watches
More quotes by George Carlin
I have lots of ideas. Trouble is, most of them suck.
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We have multiplied our possessions, but reduced our values.
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Things I wonder about the FBI's list of the Ten Most Wanted criminals: When they catch a guy and he comes off the list, does number eleven automatically move up? And does he see it as a promotion? Does he call his criminal friends and say, I made it, Bruno. I'm finally on the list?
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You never see a smiling runner.
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Sometimes a fireman will go to great strenuous lengths to save a raccoon that's stuck in a drainpipe and then go out on the weekend and kill several of them for amusement.
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Hitler never bothered with restaurant reservations he just dropped by. And somehow they always found him a table.
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I would never want to be a member of a group whose symbol was a guy nailed to two pieces of wood.
George Carlin
How is it possible to have a civil war?
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So far, this is the oldest I've been.
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We talk too much, love too seldom, and hate too often.
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Can placebos cause side effects? If so, are the side effects real?
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Here's all you have to know about men and women: women are crazy, men are stupid. And the main reason women are crazy is that men are stupid.
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I've never been quarantined. But the more I look around the more I think it might not be a bad idea.
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Life is not that complicated.
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No matter how you care to define it, I do not identify with the local group. Planet, species, race, nation, state, religion, party, union, club, association, neighborhood improvement committee I have no interest in any of it. I love and treasure individuals as I meet them, I loathe and despise the groups they identify with and belong to.
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In most polls there are always about 5 percent of the people who 'don't know.' What isn't generally understood is that it's the same people in every poll.
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Religion is sort of like a lift in your shoes. If it makes you feel better, fine. Just don't ask me to wear your shoes.
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Have you ever started a path? No one seems willing to do this. We don't mind using existing paths, but we rarely start new ones. Do it today. Start a path. Even if it doesn't lead anywhere
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Some people have no idea what they're doing, and a lot of them are really good at it.
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By the age of six or seven, I was already doing voices and faces, making my friends and my mother laugh.
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