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We now buy watches primarily for their looks, price, or additional functions. The fact that they tell time seems lost.

George Carlin

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George Carlin
Age: 71 †
Born: 1937
Born: May 12
Died: 2008
Died: June 22
Actor
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Producer
Humorist
Journalist
Manufacturer
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
New York City
New York
George Denis Patrick Carlin
Lost
Facts
Additional
Tell
Functions
Seems
Primarily
Looks
Price
Time
Function
Watches
Fact

More quotes by George Carlin

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I should think it takes a fairly low intellect to draw pleasure from the following activity: hitting a ball with a crooked stick. and then walking after it! An then ..hitting it again!
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The secret of success is doing something you love, doing it well and being recognized for it
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A house is just a place to keep your stuff while you go out and get more stuff.
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Dogs lead a nice life. You never see a dog with a wristwatch.
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I believe myself to be a worthwhile and inventive performer in my own right. [And] I want to be known for what I do best.
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If you ask me, we could do with a little less motivation. - The people who are causing all the trouble seem highly motivated to me. - Serial killers, stock swindlers, drug dealers, Christian Republicans.
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Just when I discovered the meaning of life, they changed it.
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Don't confuse my point of view with cynicism. The real cynics are the ones who tell you that everything's gonna be all right.
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The Human Species could have been great but instead we became satisfied with lights on our tennis shoes.
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No matter how you care to define it, I do not identify with the local group. Planet, species, race, nation, state, religion, party, union, club, association, neighborhood improvement committee I have no interest in any of it. I love and treasure individuals as I meet them, I loathe and despise the groups they identify with and belong to.
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Catholic school gave me the tools to reject the very religion they wanted me to have. They taught me how to think for myself and to be independent.
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No one is more himself than the moment when he's laughing at a joke. It's at those moments that people's defenses go down, and that's when you can slip in a good idea.
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I think we overrate ourselves in terms of our abilities and capacities. I mean, just because you can build a really swell bridge doesn't, to my way of thinking, mean that you're an advanced civilization.
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When people asked me, Do you get high to go onstage? I could never understand the question. I mean, I'd been high since eight that morning. Going onstage had nothing to do with it.
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That invisible hand of Adam Smith seems to offer an extended middle finger to an awful lot of people.
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Tits always look better in a pink sweater.
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I had no shoes, and I felt sorry for myself until I met a man who had no feet. I took his shoes. Now I feel better.
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Everyone should try to scratch their name on the bomb of life.
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If you have selfish, ignorant citizens, you're gonna get selfish, ignorant leaders.
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And, of course, the funniest food: kumquats. I don't even bring them home anymore. I sit there laughing and they go to waste.
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