Quote

We now buy watches primarily for their looks, price, or additional functions. The fact that they tell time seems lost.

George Carlin

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George Carlin
Age: 71 †
Born: 1937
Born: May 12
Died: 2008
Died: June 22
Actor
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Producer
Humorist
Journalist
Manufacturer
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
New York City
New York
George Denis Patrick Carlin
Seems
Primarily
Looks
Price
Time
Function
Watches
Fact
Lost
Facts
Additional
Tell
Functions

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When you're born you get a ticket to the freak show. When you're born in America, you get a front row seat.
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If 4 out of 5 people SUFFER from diarrhea…does that mean that 1 enjoys it?
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Know my feelings about traffic laws? Cop didn't see it? I didn't do it.
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Lenny Bruce genius was the unique ability to investigate hypocrisy and expose social inequities in a street rap that was really a form of poetry.
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Standing ovations have become far too commonplace. What we need are ovations where the audience members all punch and kick one another.
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When you look at the average American you realize there's nothing nature enjoys more than a good joke.
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Do you know the nicest thing about looking at pictures of a 1950's baseball park? The only people wearing baseball caps are the players.
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Ah, to be a bird. To fly the skies, sing my song, and best of all occasionally peck someone's eyes out.
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Every person you look at, you can see the universe in their eyes, if you're really looking
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Not only do I not know what's going on, I wouldn't know what to do about it if I did.
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I should think it takes a fairly low intellect to draw pleasure from the following activity: hitting a ball with a crooked stick. and then walking after it! An then ..hitting it again!
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I never take credit for anything, because it's mostly genetic to my way of thinking. Even the need to work hard with some genetic talent you're given - the need to go out and develop it, and push hard to bring it to people.
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Anger is a handy term and words are tricky, as we know. What one man perceives as anger, another person - in my case the deliverer of material - is, Don't you see it, don't you see how badly you're doing? It's like shaking a child - which you're not supposed to do.
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I just try to find targets I feel something about and express it my way.
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When I listen to those tapes now, the real cocaine shows there's just nothing special about their content.
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Once the high priests and the traders took over, we were lost as a species.
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Surround yourself with what you love, whether it's family, pets, keepsakes, music, plants, hobbies, whatever.
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We have multiplied our possessions, but reduced our values.
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Baseball begins in the spring, the season of new life. Football begins in the fall, when everything's dying.
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Christian Deodorant: Thou Shalt Not Smell
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