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They [the Reagan Administration] want to put street criminals in jail to make life safer for the business criminals. They're against street crime, providing that street isn't Wall Street.
George Carlin
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George Carlin
Age: 71 †
Born: 1937
Born: May 12
Died: 2008
Died: June 22
Actor
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Producer
Humorist
Journalist
Manufacturer
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
New York City
New York
George Denis Patrick Carlin
Crime
Streets
Safer
Wall
Reagan
Business
Providing
Make
Jail
Life
Criminals
Administration
Street
More quotes by George Carlin
Military cemeteries around the world are packed with brainwashed dead soldiers who were convinced God was on their side. America prays for God to destroy our enemies. Our enemies pray for God to destroy us. Somebody's gonna be disappointed! Somebody's wasting their time! Could it be.. everyone?
George Carlin
Scientists announced today that they have discovered a cure for apathy. However, they claim no one has shown the slightest interest in it.
George Carlin
I think we’re part of a greater wisdom that we will ever understand a higher order, call it what you want. Know what I call it? The Big Electron. It doesn’t punish, it doesn’t reward, it doesn’t judge at all. It just is.
George Carlin
One thing leads to another? Not always. Sometimes one thing leads to the same thing. Ask an addict.
George Carlin
No one who has had Taps played for them has ever been able to hear it.
George Carlin
Republicans have been trying to get people to work for no pay for a long time.
George Carlin
Writing is really wonderful art. A lot of this is discovery. A lot of things are lying around waiting to be discovered and that's our job as writers is to just notice them and bring them to life.
George Carlin
Irony deals with opposites it has nothing to do with coincidence.
George Carlin
We [americans] are not a freedom-loving people in the beautiful, spiritual sense. We have an inspiring Constitution, but we're a hardhearted people.
George Carlin
I definitely have a gift for language that is rhythmic and attractive to the ear, and I have interesting [verbal] imagery which I guess is a poetic touch.
George Carlin
I'm thinking of buying a church and changing it around: maybe selling crack and having a few whores in the pew.
George Carlin
Property is theft. Nobody owns anything. When you die, it all stays here.
George Carlin
Most of the time people feel okay. Probably it's because at the moment they're not actually dying.
George Carlin
I really haven't seen this many people in one place since they took group photographs of all the criminals and lawbreakers in the Ronald Reagan administration.
George Carlin
Being a Dodgers fan led to my first Air Force court-martial, but that's another story.
George Carlin
The rebellious mood of the country during those [60th] years allowed me to plug right back into my old hatreds. I could scream and holler, as I did on the albums, against religion, government, big business - all those assholes and their values. That hatred was very real.
George Carlin
That invisible hand of Adam Smith seems to offer an extended middle finger to an awful lot of people.
George Carlin
You know who would make an interesting murder-suicide? Madeline Albright and Yanni.
George Carlin
When you think about it, 12:15 P.M. is actually 11:75 A.M.
George Carlin
hard work is a misleading term. physical effort & long hours do not constitute hard work. hard work is when someone pays you to do something you'd rather not be doing. anytime you'd rather be doing something other than the thing you're doing...you're doing hard work.
George Carlin