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They [the Reagan Administration] want to put street criminals in jail to make life safer for the business criminals. They're against street crime, providing that street isn't Wall Street.
George Carlin
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George Carlin
Age: 71 †
Born: 1937
Born: May 12
Died: 2008
Died: June 22
Actor
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Producer
Humorist
Journalist
Manufacturer
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
New York City
New York
George Denis Patrick Carlin
Crime
Streets
Safer
Wall
Reagan
Business
Providing
Make
Jail
Life
Criminals
Administration
Street
More quotes by George Carlin
I did a lot of thinking, and used mental activity to relieve whatever feelings I had. I became very left-brained, and I was good in school. That is, I was a smart kid.
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No one ever says, 'It's only a game' when their team is winning.
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It's harder to be funny from the position of power.
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I've never been quarantined. But the more I look around the more I think it might not be a bad idea.
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The Christians gave Him Sunday, the Jews gave Him Saturday, and the Muslims gave Him Friday. God has a three-day weekend.
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Here's all you have to know about men and women: women are crazy, men are stupid. And the main reason women are crazy is that men are stupid.
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A dog has no shame. If he can do it, you can watch.
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On the other hand, pot opens windows and doors that you may not be able to get through any other way.
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Just think, right now as you read this, some guy somewhere is gettin' ready to hang himself.
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I've never owned a telescope, but it's something I'm thinking of looking into.
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Art, music, and philosophy are merely poignant examples of what we might have been had not the priests and traders gotten hold of us.
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I finally accepted Jesus. not as my personal savior, but as a man I intend to borrow money from.
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If you love someone set them free. If they come back, set them on fire.
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Why do they bother with a suicide watch when someone is on death row? Keep an eye on this guy. We're gonna kill him, and we don't want him to hurt himself.
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What occurs as you age is an accumulation of information, data, knowledge, and what I'm going to call the matrix of the mind. There's just a rich, textured, field of information and impressions that have been all networked by the brain.
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We created god in our own image and likeness!
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Thall shall keep thy religion to thy selves.
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What hair color do they put on the driver's licenses of bald men?
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In baseball the object is to go home! And to be safe! - I hope I'll be safe at home!
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There may or may not be atheists in foxholes, but I'm certain there are none in the Ku Klux Klan.
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