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Singing is basically a form of pleasant, controlled screaming.

George Carlin

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George Carlin
Age: 71 †
Born: 1937
Born: May 12
Died: 2008
Died: June 22
Actor
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Producer
Humorist
Journalist
Manufacturer
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
New York City
New York
George Denis Patrick Carlin
Controlled
Pleasant
Basically
Singing
Form
Screaming

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I don't own a camera, so I travel with a police sketch artist.
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Personally, when it comes to rights, I think one of two things is true. I think either we have unlimited rights, or we have no rights at all. Personally I lean towards unlimited rights, I feel for instance I have the right to do anything I please, BUT! If I do something you don't like I think you have the right to kill me.
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Nothing you see on the Internet is mine unless it comes from one of my albums, books, HBO specials, or appeared on my website.
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If one synchronized swimmer drowns, do the rest drown too?
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We're having something a little different this year for Thanksgiving. Instead of a turkey, we're having a swan. You get more stuffing
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By and large, language is a tool for concealing the truth.
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Writing books isn't a drastic departure from writing for the stage.
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I often warn people: Somewhere along the way, someone is going to tell you, 'There is no I in team.' What you should tell them is, 'Maybe not. But there is an I in independence, individuality and integrity.
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In Rome, the emperor sat in a special part of the Colosseum called the Caesarian Section.
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The Christians gave Him Sunday, the Jews gave Him Saturday, and the Muslims gave Him Friday. God has a three-day weekend.
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Irony deals with opposites it has nothing to do with coincidence.
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Baseball is a nineteenth-century pastoral game. Football is a twentieth-century technological struggle.
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Do you realize that the only time in our lives when we like to get old is when we're kids? If you're less than 10 years old, you're so excited about aging that you think in fractions.
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Y'ever notice how you never seem to get laid on Thanksgiving? I think it's because all the coats are on the bed.
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How do you write zero in Roman numerals?
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Suppose I could shoot myself in the mouth, but what if I miss? People will laugh at me.
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One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor.
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The women who line up at a comic's dressing-room door are not what you'd call your class groupies.
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We have multiplied our possessions, but reduced our values.
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I'm in favor of personal growth as long as it doesn't include malignant tumors.
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