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Singing is basically a form of pleasant, controlled screaming.

George Carlin

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George Carlin
Age: 71 †
Born: 1937
Born: May 12
Died: 2008
Died: June 22
Actor
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Producer
Humorist
Journalist
Manufacturer
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
New York City
New York
George Denis Patrick Carlin
Screaming
Controlled
Pleasant
Basically
Singing
Form

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I think it's the duty of the comedian to find out where the line is drawn and cross it deliberately.
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You get into your teens, now they can't hold you back. You jump to the next number, or even a few ahead.
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I recently bought a book of free verse. For twelve dollars.
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There's a humorous side to every situation. The challenge is to find it.
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Christian Deodorant: Thou Shalt Not Smell
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The wisest man I ever knew taught me something I never forgot. And although I never forgot it, I never quite memorized it either. So what I’m left with is the memory of having learned something very wise that I can’t quite remember.
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I'm completely in favor of the separation of Church and State. My idea is that these two institutions screw us up enough on their own, so both of them together is certain death.
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Every day I break my own personal record for number of days I have been alive.
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If you've got a cat and a leg, you've got a happy cat. If you've got a cat and two legs, you've got a party.
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I think we overrate ourselves in terms of our abilities and capacities. I mean, just because you can build a really swell bridge doesn't, to my way of thinking, mean that you're an advanced civilization.
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We spend the early years feeding our brains with information and the latter half trying not to think about it all.
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I knew a transsexual guy whose only ambition is to eat, drink, and be Mary.
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Not only do I not know what's going on, I wouldn't know what to do about it if I did.
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Do you know the nicest thing about looking at pictures of a 1950's baseball park? The only people wearing baseball caps are the players.
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Comedy is a socially acceptable form of hostility and aggression. That is what comics do, stand the world upside down.
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I think it keeps the child alive in me. There's a thrill when you steal something in plain view of other people.
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The New Testament is not new anymore' it's thousands of years old. It's time to start calling it the Less Old Testament.
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Results like these [state of the earth] do not belong on the resumé of a supreme being.
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I don't own a camera, so I travel with a police sketch artist.
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Once the high priests and the traders took over, we were lost as a species.
George Carlin